Keiichi

When the dog bites

2006-03-30T13:57:00.000-08:00

When the bee stings
School is school, work is work. Woooopie. I got the tables for Anizona, so if anyone has been worried about how it says, SOLD OUT, dont get your undies ina jumble, I have inside information. Its all good. Everyone needs to sign up because we are not doing th group rate. I repeat, we are NOT doing the group rate, if you want a ticket in, get one, NOW. Lauren and I are still looking into getting a room there, as to not impose on hris like last year.
Other than tahe, my aunt has a lot of family in town so there has a bunch of big parties at my house recently. I am looking at cars with my uncle on sunday, and that is the day that we are determind to get me in a car. He wants me to drvie on my birthday. Wooo 19!
Yesh, goes good, grades are good, and we are going on an NHS trip to sandiago the weekend of my b day. My dad is driving the vab, it will be a lot of fun. Mrs Scott and some cool NHS kids. I am excited. Woot wooot!

I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad

2006-03-14T13:35:00.000-08:00

that the dreams where I'm dying are the best I've ever had.

So, SPRING BREAK! = 37 hours of work! WOOOOO. Annie won't let me work more than that.
I finaly went on the roof of Harkins. There is snow on the mountians. Eli threw snowballs in the Village inn. Maddy is fading. I am fading. Cant stop writing poetry and some Sendai prose. I wounder if Lauren has writen anymore of her fic. My aunt in Kansas went nuts. She is becoming my mother. There is no sanity left in my mothers family. Painting is hard. And messy. And un satisfactory. I need a car. Maddy spent 80 dollars on thongs. My dad turned 43. I didnt buy him anything. Yet. Have to fill out Tax papers. Do chores. Make bed. Eat. 1 2 3 Breath.

Went to school and I was very nervous, no one knew me, no one knew me.
If you love yourself you will download hte song Mad World from Donnie Darko.

In class

2006-02-23T11:37:00.000-08:00

So I am in Ms. Scotts class. Wooo! Mrs Bess is getting married! Thats so awesome. I hate Live journal!

Poem

2006-02-21T20:48:00.000-08:00

Silent trees see and hear

I am like the nothingness, therfore I fill the sky.

I am the color behind your minds eye
the sweet breath of a cool day rising
the whisper of a candle flicker
filled with the sound of night arriving.

Slouching in the mist of the decaying green
and the pinks,
of Walleta O'Shea's moss back home
on Firestone street,`
north of country bakery.
Tucked in the side of the ocean,
the blue, the cran, the raspberry bushes.
Where the deer and the children often play.

I'm as solid as a rock
wedged in the heads of our soldiers
in Greece,
where we ate Baklava
Babaganoush
and feasted on foreign seeds
but could not order
our tounges, our minds,
not native.
on that day that turned
into another big fish,
we ate from mouths of the poor
still mouthing
"do I not bleed?"
Those statuary trees are silent
in a noisy way.

And we, like our rusted helmets,
grew arms twice as long to further push
these people away from our nation,
and that Irish Kaity O'Shea
who built up her walls
so high
to be pulled from their roots,
to make way for buildings
make way for buildings.

And I am the nothingness that fills your skies
I would sing for you, your size 6
canvas green special order military boots
yes young boy, I'll sing for you
the song of our mother
Ave Maria Mater DeiOra pro nobis peccatoribusOra pro nobisOra, ora pro nobis peccatoribusNunc et in hora mortis Et in hora mortis nostraeEt in hora mortis nostraeEt in hora mortis nostraeAve Maria.
Ave Maria.
The world spins backwards every day.

My mother let me eat dirt as a child...

2006-02-14T19:59:00.001-08:00

... She believed it would strengthen my immune system.

Too bad I have been sick- bad sick- the last few days. I am going to rant a little now. Not a bad rant, but then again who knows where rants lead to, to all of you, I don't post often, you may want to read this.

More or less my life has been consumed by reading. Reading. Reading Chuck Palhinuck, Haunted, Choke, Fight club, Lullyby, Diary, Stranger than fiction, anything I can get my fingers on is read in a few days. I am consumed, hole, compeltly by this mans work. It is all I could ever hope and dream to be as a writer. His stories and ideas, imagry and the mixture of themes, culture, religion, sex... sex above all things... It is truley amazing. He is the best author I have come by. Ever. Get on of his books, do it now. Get up, get up off your computer chair and get a book, I'm not kiding. Stop waisting your time in front of a screen and do something.
The merchant of Venice is also very good. I never liked Shakespear, well I enjoyed his sonets, my favorit 130 My mistresses eyes, but I have never been fond of his plays. Thanks to Mrs Scott I a realy enjoing this. I also have to thank my mother for having me watch all the strange british old films of that time era, I didn't understand them as a child, but thanks to her I am able to decipher Shakespears language. It is beautiful, that man, if he realy did write all the things his name is one, was the genious of writing.
Adrienne, Lauren, I miss your writing. If you do anything please send it to me. I also miss you both.
Went on a field trip to see a lovley poet named Soyna Sanchez (I know I am spelling this worng) She was very old, but so full of life, her pomes mixed great beat and pop culture image and beautiful language. Look her up, she is worth your time. Her poem on a Crack house is my favorite. You have to hear her read the poems though, they don't stand nearly as strong witout her voice. Also got to see Whittney. That was nice, and Whittney got to see Mrs Scott. There was a man outside with a bible who was speaking to a group of kids when we arrived, and when we went to leave he was still there. Will and I went and put in a few words, but Mrs Scott pulled us away before to long. It was anice field trip, had some nice talks with Robin. In painting we watched Frida Khola. I have allready seen the movie, twice, but I forgot how great it was, I think a lot of you would enjoy it. And as much as I refrence to her Luaren, you should probably watch it.
Work is going well. No, wait, thats a lie. It is going well for me, but my three favorite employees have left. Two fired for dringking on the clock and one went to Oraganos. I knew they where getting booze, i was the only person they told, I am also the only person who know whick manager gave them the booze. Oh the dirt I have on all my managers... But I am sad to see them all go. Work has not been the same. I got to speak with the cross dresser that frequents our theater again, he is so sweet. I can't stand all the boys I work with, they are so steryotyped. Thats why I loved Mikey and Dustin and Danny, but now they are gone. Oh Danny and your pierced Nipples... I always could punch them for a laugh.
Have been drawing a bit again, but not finishign anythign as usuall. I need to get back to painting. I started a few things and just have not finished them. Anizona is in a bit, so I need to get myself and all my friends on that. Woo CON!
Today was Valentines day. Annie was so cute and sweet. She got me a rose and huged on to me all day. I love her so damn much I cant stand it. Oh annie bird I love you! I knwo you will be readign this. Most people have peobably stoped, it is rather boring. I have some funny as shit work storues but I am getting tired of typing.
My parents took Maddy and I out for dinner. We went to Pita Jungle. I love the food there. It was nice to catch up, and I have nto seen my Mother or Grnadmoter in a long time. They all where in great health and things where not awkward, it was just like it always was. I cant imagine how much they miss us, but I know I miss them, no matter what, they are my parents. And i do love them. They got me some awsoem japanese candy. Yes.
I just finsihed watching American Idol with my aunt and Uncle, that our bonding time. We have so much fun watching that show. It is a sin, I know. House is moved back an hour, Oh big deal Lauren, get over it! XD
I know this was boring, but I promise to put in some juicy work stories or at least make some up for next time. Talk to you all later. Tracey, Adrienne, Lauren, Whittney, if your reading this, miss you guys, Im still here. SHIT! I have TWO creative writing assignments due, I am not going to spell check this, you can all bite me. I suck at spelling.

My mother let me eat dirt as a child...

2006-02-14T19:59:00.000-08:00

One day I'll wish upon a star

2006-01-31T16:31:00.000-08:00

Wake up where the clouds are far behind me.
Where trouble melts like lemon drops, high above the chimeny tops thats where,
You'll find me.

One day.

Faster than Karma

2006-01-24T20:24:00.000-08:00

Yes. It is amazing, how much apathy one can feel in a day. Not depression, no remorse, just pure and un questionable apathy. Somebody get out the shot gun. It is strange how you can go from being so in love with everythign and understanding and contentness to apathy. Everythign feels worthless, fruitless, like a train pwering downa track, I'm convinced I am going somewhere, and the hard I push, the longer the track gets. It never ends, this track, and no matter hoe fast or slow I go, I will end up in the same place in the end. IM NOT EVEN SAD! I am having a great crativity week. My production rate is way up, Im working on what I think is my best prject all year. Im happy as hell. My relationship is great, I'm madly in love and loved in return, so whay the apathy? Maybe I will become enlightned. But then that means I cant have sex right, no, not gonna give that one up. Yes, I'm kidding. There realy was always something. There never was just nothing. Always something, always will be. AGH ! ME BRAIN MEATS! I must have this exact conversation about once a week with friends, co workers and class mates, but I never stop thinking about it. I always feel that my voice must be heard. But I don't even knwo what point I am trying to make. If I where you, I would have stoped reading this a long time ago. Sleep sounds very good. Sleep and a shower. Oh and I have a new Chuck Palhinuck book. Goodie! Also, tracey rocks hard core, so does Lauren, My love Bird, Crazy little whitney, smart ass Adrienne, and everyone else I love. And don't hang out with enough. I can't wait to get my own apartment. Yeeee haw. It is going to be great. I know how much work it will take, but I am ready to take it on.

It is done

2006-01-05T17:32:00.000-08:00

So I have decided that Live journal sucks and I am coming back to Blogg. I like reading my friends entries, and if I had better computer accses I would update OBSESSIVLY like some *cough* friends I have, but I think that even if I did have the computer fixed in my room, I wouldnt. I don't like updating to much, and sorry kids, but don't get all pissy when I dont comment on your journals. I read them I SWEAR. But nobody comments on mine when I do post, so I have given this all up. I prefer in person, over the phone or you can send me a text message if you want. I finaly have that key9 shit figured out, Thank you annie.
Truley as I write this I am becoming less and less interested inposting my life on the internet for people to read, this is just a way to get more and more people to pay atention to you, another way to dominate over one another. More and more I am finding it rediculous. If I want to know how you are I will call you. Having a bad day? Want to talk about it? Call me. Not hard. Oh well, people like this, but if I want a journal, i will get one made of paper. People need to write things more. I think in the end, thats what lasts.
Im going to make a journal tho, but dedicated to one of my characters, I have to do a final in creative writing and I think that I am going to post as him a whole bunch (what a hipocrite, yes I know) And then go through it and pull out the things I like as my final. If your interested I will let you know the name. E mail me. Im done with this journal stuff.

Croching dancing to the nutcracker....

2005-11-28T16:58:00.000-08:00

...kaity takes no notice as I take aim.... Slowly....Slowly... I... LIGHT HER ON FIRE!!!

Yea, work. Those are the kind of things that happen. Awwww WORK.

Anywhoooo. Shit has been going on. Work and school, sleep happens,.food is stuffed into my face, and then school, work, food, sleep, homework, hour on the bus, work, home work....etc. You see where this is going.

I WENT TO THE DEPECHE MODE CONCERT!
It was fucking awsome. Silly old andprobablygay David. Aww god love ya.

Shirts cost 50 Bones, what a load of crap. Got one anyway.

Thanksgiving was great...
Four turkies
Two Hams
Duck
Chicken
12 er so Pies
9 kinds of apitizers
cranberry sauce
and abotu 48 punds of mash potatoes. Oh yea, I took all that home.

Aunt and uncle visited from washington. Fun funs.

Would rather be watching a movie or reading Kurt V. I think I will go do that.

If a face is diffrent

2005-11-23T15:44:00.000-08:00

when lit from below or above, then what is a face?

Woo it has been a long time.
Well it is the day before thanksgiving. Mnn, the food I am going to eat... And depeche mode is this week, that will be a fun time to be had by all.

Well, latley, I feel blan. I feel as if I am not interesting of intriguing anymore. And I feel like I have some people I want to impress, and am not doing, but only distancing myself further from them. Its not a good feeling. I am beginging to feel content alone, and yet my mind wont let me rest. Im done worring about things, college, etc.... but Im not at the same time. I feel like an annoyance and a un helpful blob of guts, and flesh and all that. Whats wrong with me?
Im not content just sitting around not making anything, and I don't want to make anythign at the same time. Everythign bores me and I feel uninspierd. I know that some others are feeling this way to. I love art, and at the same time am tierd by it. Its weird. Ughh senior year. Oh well. I don't mean to be a drag.
And I am feeling concerned. Who am i? What was I? Do I like what I am becoming?
Im becoming silent, and yet my emotions rage inside me, but in only one aspect. Its as if my body is focused on only one thing.
Its weird, I think that a lot of people are going through this, and its our senior year, so shit is going to happen. Hell I dont even know if I am going to go to college. Shit man... fuck. I wish there was an easy answer, i want to talk to someone, but I feel like a nag. I used to be able to help people, but I cant now. And somewhere in the folds of my flesh my heart throbs, all the time. It only settles with her. But where do everybody elses hearts settle?
Okay, now I am just rambalign and being weird. I think I am going to try and draw.
Annie Kins, I miss your clack and white guys, you should draw them. I have been thinking about them a lot... AND MY SON! XDDD
We need to make a day to have a drawing day. Thats to all of you. My muse died under my couch and Im trying to revive it.

And it worked

2005-11-07T17:46:00.000-08:00

YES IT DID!
Annie put the NIN song 'only' on a cd for me, and that line jsut cracks me up. Like the lady who made the cd. Oh the cracking up, it never ends in my world. ...XD
I have been promoted at my work. I don't have to wear the suspenders and the comberbun anymore. THANK GOD MOSES AND BUDDAH!I also have more power and can write people up. WOOOT! Fear me and my iron fist!!! MAAWHWHAHAHAHHW! Ahem..... I also got a raise.
School has been going well too. I am begining to slack a little, feeling the senior-itce. Yup... it feel GoOoOod too. Benn drawing a little more latley too, which is nice, I enjoy watching myself turn out nice pieces. But i need to get back in the grove of painting. Yes i doodeedo.
Im in a weird happy mood right now to, its weird. I want to like bake soemthing.
anywhooo, i am gonna go.

Prince with the sun crown..

2005-11-03T17:30:00.000-08:00

Your ego brings you down.
prince of flies with the sun crown,
all the women adore,
but my prince of flies with a sun crown..

So, well, I don't feel like posting, seeing as nobody comments, SooOOoo.... yea, take that! Im not going to ramble about my life! HA! Now what will you do?! Hmmn?? Thats right, cry, CRY!
XDD Okkay, Im just kidding, I hope that came across, cuz if it didnt, your an IDIOT!

I am Kaity's complete lack of surprise

2005-10-29T16:55:00.000-07:00

SoooooooOOooo kido's.
It has beena while. In short Steve-o came out for Adriennes Birf day, and we had an awsome time, with exception to the guys on Mill offering me sprinklers, or spanikings or something of that sort... It was a fun night, but unfortunatley not many people got to join us. Ahh well.
Work has been going well, I turned in my letter to become a team leader. Mrs.McHale begged me and said she would give me anything I wanted.... I am now the owner of a 12 foot corpse bride poster, wall hanger and stickers. FREAK YEA. Some good movies are coming out too, and I am sad that I don't realy go see movies all the often. Jarhead will be out soon, And In her shoes, Saw 2 (don't laugh, it's awsome) and Prism er soemthign like that, all look very good.
Maddy is at Mickeys Birf day party, and my aunt is freaking out about how awsome their house looks. Apperently the parents went all out and decorated it crazy for halloween. His dad has a good friend in the movie bussiness, and he colects all the dolsl they use in scary movies, so apperently the house is decked up like some crazy hooro film that was a result of all horror films having a child. I want to go see how it looks, and will report back when I do.
Its that time of my life, Im going to get a car. I have just about enough saved up now, so my aunt and I are going to go looking, well we already have been, but now its gonna be more serious, er something.. io don't know, but I do want a car. Then Lauren wont have to drive so much, but then again she will because she gets car sick and wont want us driving her around...
Other than that, people are going to meet up at my house on monday to do Halloween festive like things! Wooot! I cant wait. Tomorrow is going to be the work day from hell, but it will be worht it to go out on halloeen and do crazy shit.Hooorah.

April 4th 1984

2005-10-19T17:42:00.000-07:00

Today on the bus, the man next to me was reading a escort magazine. Showing off the pictures of the half naked women with names like 'Jade' and 'Summer' off to the people in the back of the bus. Now my mother worked for one of those places, I wanted to tell the guy that:
A) The women that answer those hotlines are well into their 40's,
B) They are someones MOM
and C) My mom was almost 300 hundered pounds, and was as interested in having sex with people like him as he was about getting shot in the face. (ok I couldnt think of a better metaphor)
I also wanted to point out the fact that exploiting the female figure for mens sexual pleasure is desugsting. I look at naked women a lot, but that is because I am drawing them; taking time to learn and appreciate the beauty of the human form. Not take it back into a restroom somewhere.
All in all it just made me uncomfterble. But, he is just human i guess.
Some of those women where very beautiful, I wish they could find better carrers.
Then the man on the other side of me pulled out a gambaling scratch card.
I had a reilization. The world really does revolve around sex and gambaling. I felt hopeless. I alwyas wish better than those things for people. Why waste your money on jerk off mags and gambles? (he didnt win, by the way) I jsut dont see the point. I had a kind of cruel relization of the world; just when you think the world is a great place, things like that happen. I don't konw, I guess you would have had to have been there.
We all really are just specks of dust, all we care and strive for is our own life and happiness, and is that really so bad?
I watched a sad tape on Chimps getting caught and sold today in class. I almost cried. A girl in my class did.
Other than that... STEVEOOOOO is coming to town! YIPIEE! And also, I am doing face paintings for prom on friday after school at the greek fest, you should all come by. Mnnnn greek food.
Im gonna stuff my fat face.

Talking doesnt make the homless suffer less, or the bommed die quicker. I'm going to take action. There are things I want.

And I hold you in my heart

2005-10-17T12:00:00.000-07:00

But I wonder, what it is that keeps stars apart.

Well I got a new cell phone, its nice.

Things have been going ok, but at the same time they are not. Nothing bad has been happening.
But I feel as though I am being mind raped. I had this strange feeling on saturday night. As if someone else was in my body, and wouldnt leave. It was awful, I was very sick. I felt like someone was in my mind, and picking it apart. Mind rape. Body rape. I guess it is all the same. I finnaly fell asleep, and then annie called, but i was too tierd to talk to her. I havent told anyone yet, but i guess i was just sick, or something.
I hate it when people grow under your skin.
You don't want to care anymore, but you do.
You wish you could stop caring, but you care so much you cant..
And lauren is here so I am going to go.

Im Mr. Brightside

2005-10-14T09:15:00.000-07:00

ITS LAURENS PARTY TODAY! WOOOHOOOOO! We are gonna have so much fun, know why?? CUZ IM THROWING IT! WOOOOO! But yes, I was grounded from the computer for a bit, thats why I havent posted as of late. But yea.... Portfolio day, mind numbing amount of school work, work at harkins, NHS and allll that other shit I like to call a social life has been going on, but I dont have the time to post anything right now, I HAVE A PARTY TO THROW! I like how that was all one sentence.

++Redo from start++

2005-09-25T09:52:00.000-07:00

I just want to go back to the way things where.

Well, I have work today from 2 to 8. Woooooo.... Yea. I am suposed to go out with my aunt to Burlington coat and get some jackets, but I dont know if thats gonna happen today. Ahh well.
UGH, October is so close I can taste it! My favorit month.
I dont have to much to say, I am not good at posting every day. .. ^^;;
My mood has gone down from its determind state yesterday. Ahh well.
I still have faith! i can do it! XDD
I guess I have just been meditaiting on the fact that I have lost a lot throught my life. Everything I had that was somewhat stable pushed me out of itself. Maddys to young to remeber a lot of things.... Bleh, I dont know what I am saying. I guess that i am just so tired of loosing, I want to hold on to what I have now... and never let go. I want to live securly for the rest of my life in a few moments of happiness and feeling secure. Gawd I sound like Shinji, been watchign to much of that show too... Mmnn that movie looked so good on our screen.. *drools*
Anywhoo, it is not good to meditate on such things. So I shall stop.
We get to go camping in NHS in october. My aunt and Uncle want to go, but they may not be able to because there are a lot of weddings for them in that month. I want to bring my dad, it has been a long time sense the last time I got to see him, and camping was somethign we did a lot when I was younger, and we alwyas talked about doing it again, but somethign always got in our way. So I am going to take himi either way, but I kind of want to push my aunt out of this one. Everyone has been talking about my parents lately, and it hurts. I love my dad and mom. yes, they made bad choices, and it hurts to know my dad chose his wife over us, but I love them. My mom tought me so much. I owe a lot of my wisdom (or lack there of XD) to her. AAAGAGAHAHAHAGHAGA i just want to run through the house screaming... And maybe Ill be naked too. Yea, thats a good idea. XD Ok, emo time stops.... NOW. Im gonna go streak.

When you have lost everything that knows you, what defines you?

Sacrifice what you have

2005-09-24T11:57:00.000-07:00

I have been truley making myself into a better person teh last week. I am teachign my self to be more polite, say thank you and please more often, and sacrafice the things I want for the sake of others. Yaaaay! XD But no, I have always been very bad at all of these things. I just assumed that people would understnad my gratitude for them, without me having to say anything. I was very wrong. And I understand that now. So Kaity revise is going through its first step. Woohoo! I AM GOING TO BE A PRINCE! O.o uhh yea... I have been watching WAY to much Utena latley.... ^^;;;
Other than that, work is once again eating at my life. And now I am in some honors classes to get more school credit, i am in NHS (annie and eric and the asian squad too! woohoo) and prom commity and art shows and final fridays and UGH! SO much to do! So little time! AAGHHHAGAHH! And Lauren is off in Texas. Racing for teh breast cancer, Yay! AUGH! Lauren come back Im bored as hell! XD Not really, And I have to go to work today at 2 30. I think I will stay after today and watch corpse bride. Yesterday at work i was security, and it was dead as all living hell. (wich i would imagine would be more eventful than the theater was last night) but Anthony and Tim got to sit through movies, and I had to do theater checks. Anthony sat through all of corpse bride, (while on the clock!) and Tim watched Flight plan. AAGHAHAGAHH! How did I get stuck doing checks?!?!?!? *dies* Oh well, they both owe me. I work Box today. WOOO party!
Nothing else has really been going on. Trying to start painting again. I havent been able to yet all year. Bleh, but I have finally started something.
I went to Pita Jungle with Chelsey and Adrienne and Annie and GLEN! it was so much fun. As time went on Glen really opend up to us. He has a new girlfriend and shit and YAAAYAYAYAY GLEN! XDD It was very fun though just to hang out with them. I really want to stay in touch with Glen after I leave NSA. OH GAWD! PORTFOLIOS!!!! *DIES...again*
Other than that, I think my mental health has been a lot better. I think I am healing very quickly. I want Annie and myself to enjoy life. And learn all we can about life, love and the people in it. I dont ever want to hold anyone back form the persuit of happiness. And besides, annie is STUCK WITH ME!! AhAHAH Thats right, you are! We are shooting for the same college and want to make our comics together so in teh end we are a partner ship, and I wont let anyone break that bond. And lauren and whitney too. ^^;; TAB. XD Yaya! oh god we need to work on the comic... AGHAGAH SO MUCH WORK!!!! *dies... for the third time*
I will not stress, i will not stress. School is gonna rock hard core this year!

Would you marry me?

2005-09-19T17:39:00.000-07:00

Carry me?
Bury me?

Okee doke. I really am doing much better, and I am sorry for worring people. And I am not the only person that people should be concernd about also.
But yes, things are going ok. Im sorry for ranting so much. Im still down and out, and I cant think about it, I just cant, But everyone is there for me, and Annie and I will always be best friends.
I feel bad because the last couple of weekends work has been eating up my life. I havent seen whitney or Lauren, and I would like to do stuff with Annie too, but she has been busy with new friends. And they sound like cool people. But hopefully on final friday at NSA we will be able to hang out and do some fun stuff. I am lookign forward to it.
School and work are eating up all of my life. But I fanally got box trained.
I got a progress report and Mrs Melton has me down with an F. Oh Mrs Melton, every year we do this. She did this last year too when I had a A she put me down as a D. Freaked my aunt out then too. And she almost killed me today, and I was like, ohhhh hhoo, Mrs Melton. You are a silly woman. I swear, some peoples children, but that will all get fixed tomorrow.
I have to work tomorrow from 5 till 11 in box. Atleast it is box, but I have to get all my work done before than, Bleh.

I witnessed the most horendus (yea, I cant spell, kiss my ass) thing on the bus today. I don't think I can talk about it yet, it is one of those things you kind of have to meditate on and then you can tell it properly without the urge to kill people. I had a wonderful feeling while talking to Sky today when I got on the bus, about how great people can be, and when I exited I was furious with all living human people. I hate those hour bus rides. Ijust hope that poor woman is going to be ok. ... Some people... I might just cry.
Seriously, it really threw me off. Bleh.
Well on a lighter note. I love YOU guys. So *hugs* And shit. Mallory I got your message, but have been swamped with stuff, but I will get back to you.

And today I relized, those who cant teach. I am so afraid of being forgotten, of losing what I have, I put a strangle hold on it whenever it flinches away. Bird who travels into unknown lands, please come back some day and tell me of your travels...

2005-09-18T09:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, well I am doing ok. Work has been filling up my life a lot. If anythign it is a distraction. I went through a period where I coulndt look at my art, adn it wasnt good. Thats all I have, it makes me who I am. But I have been drawing a lot the last two days, so this is a change for good. Im sorry to worry people. I knwo that my feelings and actions are competly childish, but , well, thats just the way it is. I have a lot of hate, a lot of anger and a lot of hurt in me right now, and as emo and stupid and as often as I make fun of people who talk like I am now, it is the way I feel. Im so tired of losing people. My family, everything. I refuse to let go of people now, I cant, I feel as if I am defined by the people around me. I dont know. Im not to sure what I am trying to say. But don't worry about me. Im going to be fine. Im just dealing with things. But Im not going anywhere. I refuse to give up, i refuse to become like the people I hate, but in the end, aretn we the things we hate the most? I can teach others to be storng, but Im not able to do it myself. its not fair. But anyway... yea. we got a huge TV in my house now and HD and cox. Soooo I am just going to lose myself in cartoons. ^^ Yea, tha sounds great.

desperate for changing, starving for truth, I'm closer to where I started ,I'm chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move I'm hanging by a moment here with you
forgetting all I'm lackingcompletely incomplete I'll take your invitationyou take all of me now
I'm falling even more in love with you letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move I'm hanging by a moment here with you I'm living for the only thing I knowI'm running and not quite sure where to go
and I don't know what I'm diving into just hanging by a moment here with you
there's nothing else to losethere's nothing else to findthere's nothing in the worldthat could change my mindthere is nothing elsethere is nothing elsethere is nothing else
desperate for changingstarving for truthI'm closer to where I startedI'm chasing after youI'm falling even more in love with youletting go of all I've held ontoI'm standing here until you make me moveI'm hanging by a moment here with youI'm living for the only thing I know I'm running and not quite sure where to goand I don't know what I'm diving intojust hanging by a moment here with you

VOID

2005-09-13T16:19:00.000-07:00

I'm Blank. I'm Nothing. I'm not sure I ever exsisted at all.
When is it fair for God to put a bullezeye on you and say, 'world, it is ok to hurt this person.'?
Please God, take me before I wake, I pray for you, my soul to take.
Everything I have goes away in the end.
Maybe its time for me to leave.

Nothing stays forever

2005-09-12T11:52:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a long time. Yikes. Not to long though.
Karis mom passed away, so I spent soem time over there talking to her and Tim. It was fun to see them again and Ithink she is doing well. There has been a lot of death lately.
We went to Steves over the weekend. I didnt do much but eat and sit on the couch and play on the trapmoline. (godfuckingdamit.. I cant spell!) But yea. It was fun. Maddy and Brianna had to watch the kids. HA Suckers.
Alexs 19th Birfday was this sunday. Lauren and I went out there and met up with Heather and Mami and Mallory. It was fun and Mami and I got to talk a lot. And I thinki she really liked Lauren and I. I know her sister well, but I didnt ever really get to meet her. And what I had heard of her made me a little afraid to, but she was perdy awsome. It was alos nice to see Alex again. I have missed her, and it sounds like college is going well. Mami went to cooking school and made Alexs cake, awwwww so damn good...
I got suspended from work which is the only reasson I was able to do these things over the weekend. I didnt up sell to a coustomer so I got suspended. Big fucking WOoooopdiiii dooooo.. But I was happy to get the time off.
OHhhhHhhhhhHHHh September 30th is a costume contest! YAyyy, I am going to go enter my Vash one again. Skipppppyyyy, I hoep I can win something again with it.
School has been good. Not to much going on. Just school. Life drawing class is really fun and I am learing a lot and Mrs Bess is teh shit. But I do miss having acting. And drawing. But Painting is going well.
Oh I want to thank Lauren for picking my ass up so many times during the week. It is freaking hot out and I hate going on the bus when it is like that. So thanks, and I do feed your sorry ass so no complaining!
We got a huge ass tv. My uncle got it as a happy anaversary gift. YAAAAY. TV! It is so awsome. I cant wait until it is all set up. PARTY AT MY HOUSE!
Well, other than that, nothign to big has been going on. Life just keeps moving forword. I didnt go to school today cuz I didnt feel well his morning. I needed some time off. I think, I dont know, maybe I am a pussy.

Can you feel, a little love?

2005-09-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

Maybe six feet under isnt so far after all.

So yesh, weekend time. Three day weekend non the less. Yay! But I have to work Fri, sat and sun... Yikes. I worked last night, security. I did't think it would be so bad, but it was. The movie Underclassman, was awful, we kicked out more than half the kids, and had to turn on the lights during the movie. I got to yell a lot and now my voice hurts a little. ANd I got called a guy, a few times. Ahhh little kids. I am beginng to get pissed now when i get called a man. I don't know why. I guess I am pissed at the way I look. If I look this way, I wish I was a boy, and If I could be more feminin I would love to stay a woman, but jezzus, God hates me, Im some crazy mix in between.
Would you love me more if I was a man?
So yea, I really dont want to go to work on Sunday, Its a 8 hour door shift. It sucks, hard core. Oh well, Maybe after it I can see whittney and them. Im at laurens now, waiting for the car, we are going to see some friends from Expo. Yay! But I have to go to work at 2, so I wont get to see them long.
School has been school. Getting a lot of work done. Creative writing has been awful. I cant believe how bad it is this year. THe kids are so bad. Last year was amazing, but this year its all stories about a angry girl killing her boyfriend or her boyfriend dying or falling madly in love, and they are angsty and read like text books. Ughhhhhh. Oh well.
Not to much else to report. Im tired.

What you take wont kill you, but careful what your given. You can scratch all over but that woont stop you itching.
Its not the same between us anymore, I doubt it ever will.
Im spread to thin, Ive turned my back and your someone new.
I know where I am, but not where I stand.
It itches, its like fire, i think its love. I dont know why I just wrote that, but its interesting.

Death row, next in line speaking.

2005-08-30T17:53:00.000-07:00

Well, stuff is going on. Life is moving. Things are good. Have been at work for like the last four days! AGGHHGGgGGHHhgghhgh! But I am glad to be making the money. I cant think of much to say. But yea, *tps fingers on desk* *whistles* Uhhhhhh huuh. Yea. DOOOOD! We get monday off! FREAK YEA!

Maybe its because Im so close to enlightenment

2005-08-27T10:27:00.000-07:00

I want to thank everyone for posting a comment. They where very nice, and I take all of your advise to heart. Malloryyyyyyyyyyyyy~~~ I wish you couls fly out here, that would be so much fun. I want to come out for your graduation! So tell me when it is and I will try to tlak my aunt into letting me come out! =^^= OMFG. I STILL have your birthday gifts and I havent sent them to you. O.O;;;; I am such a bad person... I will send it tho okeeee!!! ^^;;;;;;;;;;

Anywhoo. I had to close concession last night. SUCK EGG! It wasnt so bad I guess, but Lauren and Annie picked me up at 12 so it was cool. I want to take Whittney to go see red eye today so she can fangirl over Chilian (is that how you spell it?) o.O Yea, him. The hot guy! You know the one. Oh I also got to see the movie SLC Punk. That was a good movie, and I recomend it. BUt yea... I am at Laurens right now and Lauren and Annie are both asleep. Awww cute little angels..... Im going to go jump on them soon.... =3 I have to go to work at 6 today and work till close. Blergh, shoot me. My aunts wants me home at 3 to get the wood i need for painting class, but I am going to see if she will let me pick it up, because it is going to take a while to get the sleeping beautys out of here and doing anything.

I hope things are going well for everyone. I am doing better. I still keep watching the world around me function, but when you take that step back, you forget that you are also a part of it...

AHH! I forgot! Annie and I skiped first period yesterday and got Starbucks with Whittney at ASU. It was so much fun. I got all the stuff I needed to done for the class I missed... Dr Fuller... And Yea, we hung out and talked about stuff. It was rally fun and nice to see her, cuz I havent in a while. ^^
That I feel like I've learned nothing.

In the end it is a circle.

2005-08-25T18:15:00.000-07:00

okee, Kid-o's, calm down, i was making jokes bescause I know my feelings lately are rediculus and rooted in angst.But yea, I am doing ok. I know things will be ok, but I am alowed to be scared right? Yes I am a bit depressed, and I am sorry, but it happens. I love you guys the most, and i wouuldnt be able to live if you guys didnt care about me, but really, i will be ok. Someday. But yea... Things are going ok. I had a HUGE revalation today. The world is beautiful. It is a heidous place, but sometimes it is the most beautiful thing ever. The way that it works and all the people in it. I seriously cried and am about to now. I just feel so much love for someone, and to not be able to show it is very difficult. Im not taking it well. But yea, god I dont kwno what I am saying, but I have relized that when you are quiet and just listen, evryone has a story to tell, and everything moves in a rhythm... yea. Ok I am going ot go now. We are all hanging out Saturday people. That means ALL of you! Life is short, lets live it up, i refuse to be my mother.

Now can I tell you what I've done for you?

2005-08-24T20:34:00.000-07:00

Well, school is going on. Yaaaay. I have the uber most fucking tastic work schedual this weekend. Friday 6 ta close, saturday the same and sunday 11 to 7. Yikes. I really just want some time to do stuff this weekend. But unless I stay at someones house friday night, dosent look like that might happen. Anywhoo, got a new sketch book, and have been drawing a lot. I have been sick lately. I dont know why, but I have broken out in bumps on my tummy. MY TUMMY! I got those last year due to a medication and stress..... And yea, I think that may be happnin again. Bleh. School is not that stressful. It isnt. Ohh well. I really dont know what to say...
~Shes doing it again. She calls me and wont stop texting me, she finds all these little reassons to call me, its so fucking anoying. I wish she would just leave me alone.~
Im a awful person. Im just not the most important anymore. Who knew it would hurt so much?
Im am in uber emo mode. Ima go slit my wrists now and bleed black all over my carpets. XD

When someone thinks your dying...

2005-08-21T09:59:00.000-07:00

They really take the time to listen.

Work was weird yesterday. I was like void/half dead/quiet for once. It was weird, i just could not wake up. Then, like 10 minutes before i have to leave, Aaron drops her broom and butler and it spills everywhere. I laughed so hard. XD And then I was like, I am awake! But yea, after that Lauren and I went to see the 40 year old Virgin. It was funny as hell. And now I am posting from her computer, I made her watch fight club last night and she liked it. God thats a good movie. I still need to make Annie watch Zoolander with me. XD I know she will like that movie.

Maddy had Mickey and Jeff over yesterday. It was really funny, cuz when I came in, she stuck her head out the door and screamed, NO! Kaity is not here! And Mickey came running up to the window and pulled up his shirt and pressed it up against the window. XD Then we both quoted the cable guy at the same time. I fucking LOVE that kid. We sit and talk forever and Maddy cant seperate us. XD They are so cute together. It makes me happy.

Insted of just waiting for their turn to talk.

Im who again?

2005-08-20T10:52:00.000-07:00

Yup, first three days of school are over. Woopdiii. Things are going well. Lauren got back from Cali. We went out to Dennys last night with Annie and a few friends from my work. Unfortunetly we wernt able to hang out much, i have to got o work today at noon. Bleh, it will be cool tho. I have some homework I have to do sometime tho.
Hopefully tooday, lauren and whittney and I can hang out. Annie has plans and then has to go to her training for starbucks on sunday. Thats cool tho, i get to see her at school. But we only have one class together this year, so that sucks. I have been thinking about her a lot.. And yea, this is not the place to get into that. But it is weird when all you can think about is one thing. So i go watch Zoolander! Woooo! XD
Okeee, talk to you all later. Not much to report.

Someone lead me to the crack!

2005-08-17T18:19:00.000-07:00

Ahh Alyssa...
Anywhoooo, NSA has started!! WOOOT! It is so nice to be back at school. Ahhh last year. Yaaaa hawww! I am hapy with my schedual, i made a bunch of changes so I could have life drawing and painting with Glen. I know it will be a good fun year. I will make it so! It is cool to see everyone back and inspierd to work. It makes my heart happy. But what really makes me happy is the fact that we have a section of the school GATED let me repeat GATED!! off for the middle schoolers. XDDDDDD Dies with joy* They where seriously putting up the barred gate when we got there. I made the joke in a few classs about just throwing food over and starting a petting zoo and making the fence eletric. Ahhh people liked that one. As if the freshman arent enough, I want to keep my distance from the middle schoolers. Yikes. Anywhoo, its all up and running and I really like the new dean and principal, they are both awsome people, so far. I hope that NSA is taking the right step, in a good direction. Glen was all like, wow, we have to do paper work! And all the teachers said that they have never had so many meetings, but all this means is that we are very prepared for the year. But yea, wooo school, i will miss it so much when it is gone. But yea, i go eat now.

Love is a battle field

2005-08-15T10:23:00.000-07:00

... Why do I think of Lauren with that damn song? XD Cuz she listens to it thats why.

Anywhoooo, I am hanigin at home watching plastic surgery on tv, thinking, wow, those people are stupid snd fake. Way to go. But other than that, not to much has been going on. Maddy started school today, YAYY High school. Mickey was over yesterday, and he kept running up to me and taging me. He is such a cute kid, maddy made him wear cat ears all day. He let me wear his batman converse shoes. BADASS. I think they are so cute together.

I am going to hang out with annie today. We need some time to talk anyway..... I am so nervous tho. I feel like I cant mess up or I will lose all my happyness. Its like a blind date, or a first date, and it ashouldnt feel this way. Its invigorating yes, but also scary as fuck. I just love her so much, its all I can think about, and worry about. Things had been going very smoothly, but we hadnt been talking about the subject much, she even got funny and flirty with me again, so i asssumed everything was going ok, but trains derail. God I just dont even know what to say. I am so scared. And worried, and for some reasson un known to me, that sentece italcized, or however the fuck you spell it. Im gonna leave it that way and take it as a sighn. o.O XD;;;;

I hope lauren is out having fun in cali...... Maybe she will be able to see Vicky.

Leave me in the ditch while they are still throwing bombs.

And this is my little prayer...

2005-08-12T20:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I went to see Chumscruber again. It is a gooood movie. I think that everyone liked it.
It was fun to see tracey and adrienne. I was like wooooot!! But it was nice to chilax with people before school starts, and tracey is graduated, so yea, I will take whatever time I can get I guess.
Bleh, I have to work tomorrow, I have been sitting around all day watching Fruits Basket and Escaflowne. Ahh good shows. My heart dose well.
I feel like my life has gone a little into auot pilot mode, but at the same time I am still being creative and what not. I think this is because I have the ut most faith in people. I know things will be alright. I must feel like a huge burden to people, but I have faith in them, i know they will live up to my... expectations. That dosent seem like the right word for that, but whatev.
Do people actually wish for war? Ahhh Escaflowne... I missed that show.
Anywhooo. I had fun yesterday tho, we all wanted to do stuff before school gets back in. I think we should still do something more, but ah well, we may not have time.
I have been distracting myself a lot lately, but i have been catchign up on good shows. I guess I just dont want school to start. I do and I dont. Bleh. I hate that love hate feeling.
Anywhoo, thanks to everyone for hanging out yesterday, it was awsome.
Lauren, I hope you dont freak out to much about your teeth... And Whittney, hide your mom from any bug Italian men.. o.O XD;;;;
.... Your beautiful foolishness, graceful ignorance. I have faith in you. I love you.

How about I just beat the crap out of you?

2005-08-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

So, I have this new idea for a comic. It would be a silent comic, completly black and white, no grays er nothing, and it would be about a boy getting trained to become death, because he is leaving or whatever. I have been drawing the chracter a lot lately, well as in the past two days he is all I am able to draw. He is soooooo cute tho, Maddy loves him. I want him to not want to become death, because he dosent like seeing people die. Or seeing the missery that teh family goes through, and Death gets very impatient with him. He would have a litle friend, a angel in training, and yea, thats about all I have right now. I did the first page of the comic, and death is trying to get him to take teh life of a small kitty, and he wont. He defends teh cat and refuses to take its soul. Death gets upset and scoulds him, and yea....... Ok it is way to early to be posting and I am typing wayyyy to fast for myself, so, if this inst coherent and everything is spelled wrong, im sorry.
I will try to load a picture of teh cute death kid soon. I only have to work saturday and sunday this week. YESH! Other than that I am just chilaxin and stuff. Everything with annie is still at a stand still.
I got to smoke Hookah the other day too. That was fun. The place was really cool and stuff and shit and things and yea. It was fun. A godo chilaxin hang out place. Yea.. I go now.

I dont know why that is my header, but for some reasson it was all i could think up...

Feel Good

2005-08-07T10:57:00.000-07:00

So, I had the most amazing dream yesterday. I was in a open field, looking on the school I went to in Kansas. Now this field that is outside teh school is teh town graveyard, so I could seriously look out a window in a few of my classes and see the gravestones. Now for people who are firmilar with the Theracles story, this is where it all takes place, int eh graveyard, cuz hes all dead and shit. But somehow all the gravestones had been removed, teh fence, even the large trees. I was standing facing him with a yellow flag tied around my waist, and he was standing facing me with a red one around his. All over the field where these cardboard stand ups. But they where just black silouetts of people. They where all standing in these crazy positions, not moving, all mine had yellow flags tied and his had red. Theracles and I where throwing the football back and forth taling. He kept asking me who I really was, and if I was going to stay the same, if I was going to die, if he was going to die (i assume because he allready is that he means as a character) and all tehse questions about what makes me a person and if I am still going to be who I am. It was crazy. I kept telling him that I wasnt going to change, and that I was who I was and all that Jazz. He looked at me very doubtfully then pushed over one of the black figures and when it hit the ground it vanished and just left a white outline of the body, liek a body marker at police sites. I knew that the bodies must still have been under teh field, even though the grave markers where gone, they had all become nameless players in my game. He looked at me very sadly and threw mw the ball and I woke up.
I don't knwo where to start with this one. I know that I am worried that if I lose Annie, I will lose all that I am and had become as a perosn, and the dream definetly shows that, but all the bodies and mindless players made of cardboard.... I am afriad to lose any of my beloved characters, and lately they have been talking to me in dreams. A lot. I knwo I had one with Drenyon and Theracles was there too, but I cant remember what Drenyon said. Which acctually makes sense now that I think about it. I dont know, but I have had some weird dreams lately.
Anyway, I have the rest of the week off. Yay. My aunts B-day is the 9th and she is going to see Sammy, so I am going to watch Jack and Joey. Should be fun. I want to take Annie to see DSukes of Hazzard soon. I want to do a lot of things with her, and keep her as close as I can, but she is not made of glass, but if I try to hold her to close, she could break, and if I dont hold on.... My worlds just upsde down.
I showed people at work how to unrap starbursts with their mouths yesterday, it was funny.

I WILL STILL BE HERE.
EVEN WHEN THE BOYS OF SUMMER ARE GONE.
I think that raps up how I feel.

I WILL BE HERE..

2005-08-06T08:45:00.000-07:00

EVEN WHEN THE BOYS OF SUMMER ARE GONE.

Well, Annie and I had a nice time together. We went out and ate, and it was nice to see her eating good solid food, even if it did make her a little sicky. Then we went to see Chumschruber. It was a good movie. I really enjoyed it, something you have to see more than once for sure.
It was nice to get out alone and talk. I think I was able to ease some of her anxiety, and nervs and what not. I hope I was atleast. But It was really wonderful to just get to hear her out and how she is feeling. We hadnt been able to talk like that in a while, and over the phone conversations are not as good as the ones people have in person. I hope she is doing well, and feels good enough to work. if not.. STAY HOME YOUNG LADY!
She is going to see 'K' after work today and seems determind to have her mind made up. ... This is a special message to you annie... I dont want you to rush anything. Not because of me atleast. I knwo you are hurting, but the pain will only get worse if you rush things. Dont be rash in your choice, take as much time as you need. I truley mean that. If I did calm you a little last night, I have the rest of the week off starting tomorrow. Please eat more toast. I love you so very much. ~~~~ Ok, back to blogg.
Well, I work today, and I wish the day was over allready, bleh, work. Nothign else has been going on. See you all later.

Life or something like it

2005-08-04T09:45:00.000-07:00

I cant sleep at all. I hate it, it makes me sick. I also just started my period. OH fuckinggodkillme. I hate beinga woman sometimes. I am going to go out with Lauren to get her Tsubasa 6. Not much else to report.
I thought that we completed each other, I thought our love was perfect.
But in the end, what do I know.
This is kaity saying goodnight, goodnight.

I ate people

2005-08-03T20:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, I ate. I had some oreos and asaragus. So you can all stop worring. I kid, i did eat that tho. weird mixture. Ewww..... But yea, I am feeling better now. The initial shock is over, now I am just waiting for the big answer.
I just pray that Annie is doing well. Either way, she is gonig to be happy, which makes this all ok. In the end, no matter what the answer is, it was worth it to be with her at all.
Chris is truley her fantasy come to life. And I understand that. He is a very nice looking asian guy who is into the same things as her, and he also draws. He has everything that I have a bit more. I just want her to be happy. But I also want myself to be, so of course I want her. I never thought that her leavign me would be this bad, it just made relize how much i love her, and want to be with her. Yea, i am rambling.
But thanks to everyone for their advice, i really need it. Thanks to you all, you all rock.

Will anyone believe it? In the end.
If i could call the rain to melt and wash away the pain you feel, I would. You gave yourself to me, and showed me what the truth could be, and for I say thank you. I love you Annie.

Theres nothing left to say

2005-08-03T10:18:00.000-07:00

Well, I have never had my heart broken before. This is probably not the best subject for a blog, but I have never hurt so bad. Now when I looke back at all those corney love movies I understand. Life is a bitch. I want to just start walking and not stop. Just keep going and see where I end up. A place where nobody knows me and I can begin a new. I am not spiteful, but god please, someone make the pain stop. I had to leave work yesterday. I had to keep running off to the bathroom to stop fits of sobing and i started vomiting. It is all pretty pathetic when you look at it, but oh well, I got to go home because my mangers told me I looked like hell on legs. Ahh Harkins people. Theres nothign anyone can do, and nobody is at fault. Maybe me tho, maybe I did something wrong. God, I cant breath, I cant think, I cant live like this. I jsut want it all to end.
I havent eaten in over 24 hours. Which is strange because usually nothing stops my want for food and lots of it. I dont even feel hungry, but I should go eat.
Please, if anyone gets a moment, text me or something, I really need people right now.

Whatever happend to the hero?

2005-07-28T10:47:00.000-07:00

Well, summer is quickly coming to an end. With work and stuff it is passing very quickly. Damn it all. I want more summer time to be lazy! Yarghableh!

I have to anounce that I finally have my own room! Woot! We painted it and yesterday I spent teh day moving things in. It feels great. I cant do to much else to it until I get my desk and shelfs, and until then it is kind of desolet, but oh well, its MINE! (oh and Lauren the FAG came over and helped a little, but really just sat and ate tacos.)

Things have been good in the house. We had a family talk after my uncle yelled at me for giving my shift to a friend at work who needed it.. That was intersting. Either we are going to buy a third car or I will just take the bus. I feel awful about the third car thing, but I would pay it off in the end, month by month. So I guess it wouldnt be so bad, and it would be mine. My uncle and I dont comunicate well, and it has made things a little difficult, he works very diffrently than my father and has never had to deal with kids. .... But yea, we are pushing through. Oh I have also been getting these ghuilt texts from my mom.... Gawd, whos bright idea was it for her to get text on her phone? not mine.

I have been hanging out with the guys from my work lately. They are fun and say that theya re going to infultrate our group and take the ones they want and kill of all the others. XD Yea, I would like to see them try to get through Whittney. But they are really fun and tought me how to play Risk. They are huge nerds and at the same time arent, it is really funny, there group works just like ours, only in MALE form. It makes me happy. Now that they have a girl (yea, they think they have moved me from my group to theres) all they want is a flaming gay guy.

Work is good. There are a few guys that hit on me a little and makes me feel awkward. But oh well. I dont know why me, there are a couple of very pretty girls at my work, but i guess they get it too. When people want to spend the rest of their life working at harkins, what can you ecspect. But I heard that Erin quit at Neo, so I am going to go talk to Matt about that. They will need soemone to fill that space, and my art is going back up anyway. Neo would be so much cooler than Harkins. But I have to wonder why she quit.

Other than that, I dont have tio work till Saturday, so i plan on kicking it back a little. Until then!

Whatever happend to the hero? I just need someone to look up to.

Super Freak

2005-07-21T11:31:00.000-07:00

Yeshhh, So I havent posted in a while. Hmmmn, what to say, what to say....

Well, the rising stars of Manga thing is going on again, and I plan on entering this time! GoddamnitIwill! So, this is when the group assembles and tries to decide what to do, it is fun. Yea.....

There really hasnt been much going on. Annie had her birthday, and I think I made it very fun. ^^ I have had some time off work, and now I am back into it full swing. Bleh. But oh well. But seriously, the words wont come, I cant think of a bloody thing to say. ... I just itched my nose.... OoooOOOHhhhhh.

Yea, I got nothin.

Hear me

2005-07-08T13:23:00.000-07:00

Expo is over, yeaaaaaaaaaaaa! It was a lot of fun, and I dont feel like talking to much about it, cuz all of you where there! HA! XD, ok I will update later, go to Laurens blog for pics and other shit.
ROAR!

Let me take this minute....

2005-06-28T13:04:00.000-07:00

TO SCREAMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGG
GGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok I feel better now. Sorry, but between 40 hours a week at work, and having to finish all the shit for expo, i am losing it. i am at laurens now nad we are going to go finish up some things. Huzzzah. Ok. yea, i am good now. ^^;;;; Expo is going to be good. It had damn well better be!!!

Somtimes two come together to make something beautiful...

2005-06-17T10:26:00.000-07:00

Well, my 2nd Wisdom tooth is growing in. I don't feel 'Wiser' but I do feel A LOT OF PAIN! *flais* owowowowowowwowowowo The Pain!!!! It keeps me awake at night! You dont know the pain!
...Ok, it's not that bad, but it is still bad.

Work has been going well. But I had to go home yesterday because I got really sick. I don't know what happend, I just suddenly got ill. I felt bad putting them out a little, but they where very nice about it. Today I wok Usher, 5 to 11. Wooot. I work with one of the people that is going to Expo tongiht, so that will be fun.

I have not been drawing as much as I would like to be. Which sucks, cuz Expo is right around the corner. Oh well. I have done a couple of fan arts, but not to much. I want to work with Annie and Lauren and Whitney on my days off, but the next two days I get off are the day and day after Lauren gets back, I dont foresee any work getting done then, and after that, I am going to tutor Adrienne on math so that she can go to Expo. Sooo, not much time. I can work at Adrienne's tho, and we can do some things together. ^^ But Annie and I have soem that we need to finish. AGHHH! So much to do! I just hope we all get it together before Expo. =^^= Oke, done ranting.

I have been reading like a mad man. I am now on Men at arms. Damnnnn good book. And because I have read MR I knwo somethings! Wooo! XD Lauren those books rock! I love captin Vimes, he is awsome. And Carrot. Silly people of night watch. Makes me sooo happy. And death, god I love that character. But yea, I am becoming obsesed with Teryy pratchet. He is amazing. I think I will go read right now...

I have been thinking a lot about my older original story. I love that thing so much, but am hitting a lot of bumps in it. I want to change a lot fo things in it so it isnt my immature 7th grade story anymore. Yea, that was random, but oh! We all have to celebrate Anikin and Luiets Birthday during Expo! Thats when I created them, so Annie and I decided we would throw them a party! XD As in a cup cake with a candle in it or something. Thats my most recent story, I cant believe it is a year old allready. I fucking LOVE that story. Aww. I Love me. And you!!! You all too! XD Yea I am full of piss and other piss today, I hope it stays this way, i need this 'piss' for work. :D

Still have been having weird ocean dreams lately. Cant explain em'. This time I was ona boat with my sister and we where trying to get to somewhere to give my mom a shell of some kind, but the boats sank, and then some didnt and, yea. I dont rememebr very well, but it was a perdy dream.

Expo plans are coming along, jsut got to finish registering, and thats it. I still have to call people, the plane tickets went up, again, because we had tehm on hold. GODFUCKINGDAMNITALLTOHELL! I am sorry people. So sorry! I will help people pay if need be. But yea, I hope people are entering contests! I am going to sighn up for the Ball room contest sometime today, so that will be fun. I hope whitney can find her charger for her camera, that things works so very well, it would be nice to use again.

Ok, i am done, i hadnt posted in a while. Talk to you all later.

...never three.

Hooooodddeedoodoo

2005-06-11T09:49:00.000-07:00

Yesh, I am living with my aunt again and i dont think we are going back with our parents. My parents can barley affford to support themselfs, let alone Maddy and I. Yea. Everything has kind of smoothed out and things will be ok. ^^ Nobody worry! Its ok! I swear it. I am staying positive and all that good shit.

LAUREN YOU CALLED ME!!!! *dose happy jig* Yea. That was so much fun. I hadent talked to you in SOOO LONG!! Aghhhhh! Even tho I did think you where some creepy person cuz I couldnt hear you in the begining and the phone kept cutting out. But yea! I am glad you are having fun, kick the people in your group, and we cant wait for you to be home either. Yaaaaa Europe. I hope that phone call didnt cost to much tho. o.O It had better not! But thanks for calling, and dont worry, it is all cool here.

Well yesh. I have work today at 5. Wooo. I like workign the realy late shift, it is cool. But yeshhh..work is cool, got my first paychek! The joy! And yea. . . . I hope to hang out with everyone on my days off. =^^= See you all soon. Not much to report.

Nothing really matters.....

2005-06-10T22:43:00.000-07:00

Well, I havent poseted ina bit cuz my aunt kicked maddy and I out of the house after we spent the afternoon with my father. I dont feel like going into detail, it would take to long, but yea, I am back at their house now. I spent a few with my parents. Yea... I am not to happy, but all will be ok. So nobody worry. Other than that I am off grounding and working. I got my first paycheck today. Huzzzah!

Too me.

Just because I can.

2005-06-07T21:46:00.000-07:00

But can you fake it?
I don't think I can make it. Not the way I want it to be. I can starve, and feed, and scream and fear.
But in the end I think it is all the same anyway. Feelings differ from person to person, so whats the point in trying to understand them anyway?

I don't know what the hell I am doing, I am bored. I havent been getting 'truley bored' sens I was like 16. I have been reading, drawing, and all that. But I know I just really need to get out and see people. Thank god I get out soon. I work on Friday and Sat and Sun, but then I have free time, then Expo is so soon.

Seeing people only trying to do their best only makes the ball of led in my stomach turn and beging to throb.
Its a ball of guilt, a spher of regret, Ive swalowed it whole, and its taking me in.

Again, I am writng all these weird phrase things while blasting music, its like I have to make my brain stop, or something will happen. If just anything would happen.... this is not suposed to be a angry blog entry so don't any of you take it that way. I am happy as all hell to be working, and I cant wait to be back out in the world with everyone. All teh plans for Expo are coming together. My fucking journal is still missing, I have given up hope for finding it. Shit shit shit shit.

I miss Lauren a lot. I hope she is having fun /i know she is/ in Europe, and she had damn well be streaking. Oh blody hellfire, I really need to talk to people. I dont know what the hell I am feeling. Or saying, and lost all train of thought a while ago. Oh Fushigii Yuugi. Huzzah, its a mother fucking party.

I bought the 7th Pet shop pf Horrors today. the cover is so cool. It was good, that manga is so addicting. I was concidering buying Tokyo B just to own it, but then I thought, hmmn, Annie owns it, and so dose Lauren.... the point to buying it would be....? Besides one day when I live with Annie, our manga collections will collide and it will be a beautiful shelf /or couple of shlefs.../ to look at.

Thus I am relizing how much I miss writing, Terry Pratchet is a god among men, I swear to god, buddah and all the other inigmas that people have created for the 'greater good'.

~Escaflowne~ Maddy is at a movie with her friend Mickey. He is a funny as all get out kid. She likes him so much it is funny to see how diffrent she acts around him, as where the two of us had fun sitting on the couch watching comedy central and talkilng about music while maddy did her hair four times over.

It feels good just to be typing. It felt good to be working on my art again. I know Expo is going to have a great turn out art wise. The popcorn maker at work has left its mark or marks on me already. Jezzus.

And I'm Useless, but not for long.

Mr. White, the verdict please.....

2005-06-07T19:30:00.000-07:00

And I am off grounding on friday! LSDFHIIOCFNEIOFHOIhioghwerioghi Thank god! I am so ready to be out of the house. SOO READY. They would only let me out of the house to go to work. But yea, all that ends so very soon. Other than that, I am drawing fan art stuff for expo. I did some cute as all hell DNAngel ones. Now i move on to fruits basket and other such popular stuff. Yea. Annie we should get together and do some as a pair. ^^ Yaaaay I cant wit for expo. yea.... not much to report, i have till thursday off work, so yea. it is all good. I just want to get out of the house, when they say house arrest, they mean it.

And the new day was a great big fish.

2005-06-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

Ok so I finished monstrous regiment today. Yaaaay Terry Pratchett! It was very good. Yaa Maladict(ra) I was glad he/she came back int eh end. Huzzzah. I need to draw some of the characters, that would be fun. Anywhooo, now I start Guards Guards.
Well today I work 2 ta 10. It wont be hard, just kinda long. There are 5 movies opening today, so it is going to be VERY busy. Thank god I am not workign consesion. I had to work it last night, Uhhgh, time passes so slw there, and I had to close, so I didnt get out till 12:10 am. It sucked, but I was ok. I have to work it again on saturday, but I dont have to open or close, YES! Then after sunday I get till like thursday off! XD
Dream log! I know I dreamed more than this, but this is what I can remember. I ahve been having a lot of dreams that have me in the ocean looking for shells, and the ocean floor is usually cover in big beautiful shells and sand dollars. One time I had a dream like this 3 days in a row, just diffrent ocean and diffrent shells each time. This time I was in some nice beach house, then I was int he ocean with maddy and bri and we where getting shells. I got one that looked like i had painted on it, or someone had, and inside there was a note to me, from me. From like 7 year old me. It was very odd. Oh! I am rememebring the rest, ok I was at that dock at whittneys again, and I was on the paddle boat, but I was chained to it, Lauren was on the land part and leaning on one of the brooms we use at work, the boat was sinking under me and i was begining to panic cuz i was all chained down. I was screaming form Luaren to help me, but she just started waving good bye to me, and looking very sad. When I was fully under water, I started to pull on teh chains and managed to get one arm free. (I cant imagine what it is like under the water at whittneys lake, ughhhhhh. I am sure you cant see a inch in front of your nose, but I could) Then (while I was still sinking) A mermaid came up to me, an Annie mermaid. She grabed my free hand and led me to a tunnel. I came out in some kind of kitchen. I was sudden dry and wearing what looked like a waiters cloths. I turned around and lent Dorian Grey my pen. He was standing there with his painting all covered with Drenyon. Drenyon had little sparkly black wings. It was so weird. One of whittneys animlas was there and it talked like her, i touched its rainbow flame tail, and it was all cool and made my hands tingle. I cant rememebr what hadppend next, but all that just came back to me. Yay! Wow, that was trippy. Ok yea, I am gonna go eat now, so damn hungry, talk to you all later. ^^

I have no words.

2005-06-02T10:18:00.000-07:00

OMFG. My dreams have been so weird lately, but this little one I just have to share. Lauren will find it hilarious. I hope she reads this.
Ok, so Sei-chan is talking to some little kid ina house I know in washington, the kid had flowers for him. I think it was because he liked him er something. I can remember teh most part of the dream but I do remember Sei-chan getting on Whittneys padle boat with some lady, could have been me, I dont remember what tehy where talking about, then suddenly Sei stears the boat over to the edge of the water, gets out onto the land (if youve ever been to whit-o's its the area where teh pool and resturant is) and declairs that theyve made it to Europe. (lauren.......) He is all excited and (I) or the lady is yelling at him to get back on the boat when he says that there is a sighn that says "in europe you must be naked' (or something along those lines) So he takes off all his cloths (it was dark, thank god) And runs around flairing his arms up and down and saying how much fun we are going to have in Europe. ....... o.o Lauren, I think you need to come back from Europe! XDD I know there was more, but I cant remember it. Oh lauren, the Owl is good, I cant wear it at work, oh well, and I am on page 345 in MR. Almost done! Yayayay! It is so damn good. But yea. Ok, I am done, I hoep you all get a laugh, cuz I did. I seriously woke up laughing. Ok I have to work 4:30 to 11 today, huzzah. Ugh. And then 2 to 10 on friday. Bleh. Saturday is going to be bad to cuz I am doing consesion. Oh well. It si all good. I like working. ^^ But yea, just had to report that dream. =D

CAUTION Seeds are VERY hot!!!!!

2005-06-01T18:10:00.000-07:00

Okeeee, so I went to my work orientation. We had to watch these terrible videos, you know, where they try to make it look all cool and apeal to the younger 'hip' kids. XDD But I started working that night and Usherd from 6 till 10:30. It was cool, but I had the worst pair of shoes on. I worked today as well, 8 to 5:30. And I work thurs, fri, sat and sunday. 0.0;; Yea..... I do not look forward to doing concesion on saturday. XP Other than that it is a nice job. I like it atleast. ^^ It feels so good to be making money and doing stuff and getiing out of the house. But I have learned that doing door duties for more than 30 min sucks, you can do anything, and you get tierd of staring at posters and looking out the window. Did I mention the part about no sitting?? o.O Usher is cool and easy. Just sweep popcorn and clean theaters. That too can get bleh after a while, the hallways are only so long, and you can only stare at teh 'pink panther' changing light poster, or any of the other posters for that fact, for so long. I have them all commited to memory, anyone want to knwo when a movie is coming out? XD Consesion is crazy, I have enought popcorn grease on my face to... ugh, I dont even want to think about that. Peope are pigs to I noticed, and little kids carry way too much money. Also, that food is damn exspensive!! Jezzzus. I mean it. Btu it is coo. ^^ Yea... work work work. ^^ Talk to you all later, hopefully this will help me get off grounding. ^^ ^^ ^____^

I was never orderd not to think.

2005-05-30T17:14:00.000-07:00

Okee, well we are back from the long baby shower weekend. It was fun, but I am tierd as hell. My job orientation is tommrow, so woo, wish me luck with that, it will be good to be working. ^^ Ummm, yea, I am still grounded, and I am not really allowed to even see anyone, so if people want to get registerd for expo, you are going to have to find someone else to send out the papers, cuz I still dont have Alyssas and Whittneys. *kicks* But yea. I am bored as fuck and in rather a melencholy mood, I just want something to happend damnit. Laurens in Europe, i read her blogg. Huzzah, I am glad she is havving fun, she deservers it. ^^ I am reading a terry prachet book she gave me and am 1/3 into it, it is over 300 pages so for a day thats pretty good I think. ^^ Woo.. .. ........... ... o.O Yea, I'm out.

ACK!

2005-05-25T13:43:00.001-07:00

Ok my blog is being crazy, go down and read teh other post, but I have to tell everyone that I am now a valued member of the Harkins theaters. Wooooopdido. Which means I will be working full time over the summer. Oh hizzzah,

2005-05-25T13:43:00.000-07:00

Like me.

2005-05-25T13:40:00.000-07:00

OMFGGGGGGGG!!!!! TWO DAYS! TWO DAYS! Then we are out of school! Thank ya jezzus! Wooo! I am still under house arrest, but that dosent mean people cant come to visit. ^^ Yea. Anywhooo, maddy went to sunsplash for her eighth grade trip. I remember doing that. It was fun. Other than thhat, I am sitting around on my ass cuz we got out early. A longer day tomorrow, but oh well. Yea, thats all I really have to say.

House arrest.

2005-05-21T12:40:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I am under house arrest for the next mounth. I have been busted. I got caught on the road with Annie in my car, by my aunt who was pulling out of the On aukmor place. When I saw her, i frezzed and looked behind me and almost ran a red light, i got half way throught he intersection going about 50 when i relized it was red. So i reversed and then found myslef in the lane right next to my aunt, who was scared that I had almost killed myself and was upset because I am not supsed to have people in my car. Oh well, there goes my car for a month, and I have to have a job in a week or else, and yea, there goes my first month of summer. She allready knew that I ad been drivnig with annie in my car, but had never told me. I didnt get punished to bad obviously, but it is going to be a long month. Lauren is leaving for eurpoe in a week, and I have finals all wkk, so I doubt that I will be able to see her before she goes. That sucks, and is the worst part. Because I am going to mis her something terible, and even though I am going to read the blog she is making, it wont be the same. A whole month Lauren! I need man time! XDD Yea. Other than that, I am glad that Annie and myself are not hurt. Thank any god that is listing. Yea, I just woke up, so sorry for all the typo's. Just thought I would update everyone. I still have my cell phone, so call me! ^^;;; Other than that, I went to see star wars, it was fun.

Now tell me, what am I suposed to do about it?

2005-05-18T19:54:00.000-07:00

Okeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, well, Star wars premeirs tonight at midnight. Heh, ok, had to get nerdness in there, although as sad as it is to admit, I am not a big fan. I will go see the movie, but not tonight. Annie is going with 'K'. I hope they have fun. But yea, I am just kind of bored out of my mind. I am trying out for NHS next year. Yay! I think it would be good for me and look very nice on my resume. I have the grades to do it, and all the teachers like me so I am a sure win. ^^ Yay. Oh tommrow is the teacher dunk tank. Yesh, I cant wait. It is so funny to watch. Other then that, the fashion show was today and i got to wear my Vash costume. It was fun, people really liked it. Huzzzah for female vash. ^^ That skirt is hard to walk in tho. Umm, yea. School is almost over, yesh. I have allready checked my bags out, believe me. Well I feel dumb, I have nothing profound or anything for that matter really to say. Heh. ... Bai bai!

No one sings like you anymore.

2005-05-15T17:41:00.000-07:00

This weekend was the weekend to end all the things that had been pillin up. I had the costume contest, and it was fun. It was very crowded, which made it hard to move around in the huge skirt. But people really liked Annie's and my outfits. I also got to promot my art and all that jazz. Also the play is done now. YES. I am so glad that is over and done with. Amen. Other than that, we (as in, Adrienne, Lauren and myself) went home with whittney and watched Phantom. It was a lot better then what I had anticipated. Which is good, It was gothic pricess fan fluff ozz darque nhess shit, but it was very fun, and the way it was put together was very beautiful. But of course we all kept cracking bad jokes, it made it even more fun. We stayed up real late talking and doing all that what not. It had been a long time sience I had stayed up with friends talking and was very relaxing. We then went to laurens and watched the pampa vidieo she made almost a year ago. It was funny, but her home vidieos were even better. It was funny as hell. (as funny as hell is I am sure..) Yea. Not to much. I don't want to go to school soooo bad tommrow. Ugh, must be good, so little time left! Agh, I missed the last two days due to teh play and other stuffs, so I hope that the final drafts of Catcher arent due, seeing as I never was able to get my rough draft back..... Oh well, I will edit it myself I guess to the best of my abilities, which arent good, I dont spell well at all. I dont use proper gramer and all the whoo knows what. (whoo? God I am so bad, all you have to do is read my journal to know... Ms. Scott is going to kill me with a grammer book one day I swear to god...) Oh and Lauren, do more chapters! You want toooooo! ^^ Ugh, I have to get a job, I am going to blow off everything and watch Utena and FLCL. I need those shows right now. I havent watched either in a long time, and maybe escaflowne. Oh adrienne read all of Tokyo B. and she cried. It made me happy to see her do it, because I was being to much of a man when i read it and held it in. That is by far the best clamp manga ever. Subaru and Sei are the most indepth characters they have. I love Clover with a hot buring passion and Sakura and X and what have you, but wow, that was gooood shit. Ok I go now.

And i'm broken not.

2005-05-07T21:35:00.000-07:00

It has already become, 'one of those' weekends. Adrienne just left, she spent most of the weeke over here, it was nice. We got our new couch in. Play rehersal ended up being basical usless, and I have a cold from hell. I started a nice Utena painting, I am very proud of the skin tone and think teh painting will be a sucsess. My show went down tto planet neo, but due to tehm not having thh right hooks to hang it with, it is not up. Boo. Oh well, it will go up eventually, and teh weight of teh show atleast going 'up', is off my shoulders. I can paint freely now, once again. Go buy buttons, all of you. Hopefully my green painting in the lobby will sell, teh actress plaing Daisy in teh play mentioned how much she wanted it again today at rehersal, it is not a pricey painting, so I want her to just buy it, I think she complaments it well too; it si a good match.
I am so very tierd. Ughh damn cold. I have decided that I don't want to be a teenager anymore. I am tierd of it, but then I know that once teh youth is goine I will be begging for it back. I am so tierd of seeing my friends hurt because of youth. Truley, I am at a loss for words on how to express the sorrow in my heart, I feel utterly lost in all the sittuations I have been thrown into. Helpless, unable to do anything for the ones I care about. I don't like myself when I have to feel that, but don't we all. Drama just keeps leading us all by the hand, and forcing us to all sit together, too close to breath any fresh air or air of our own... I am sorry, I have no idea where I am going with this rant, I will stop. It is a bleh day.
On the up side I spent almost all teh day with Jack and Joey. They are such cute kids, but I swear I am going to tie my tubes right now. No I kid, but it was fun. Silly five year olds.
Mr. bojangles is still here, why I dont know, but I am not complaning. I feel like once he is gone, something unexplainable will be missing form me, It is hard enough to see all my things packed away and treated like they dont matter, but, ugh, I dont know, I am having teh worst time tonight putting words together. I miss home. In the simpliest sense. I dont know where home is, if it is where the heart is, then where is my heart? I havent been able to find it lately, and just saying that makes me tear up, my stomach whells up and my chest feels like it will burst. I hate teh brain, it dose to much thinking. I miss you all, even if I dont know who 'you all' are. Something is missing, thats all that I can be sure of. I have lost something, I cant replace it, and it is in within reach, but I wont make a move. I lose games to myself. Oh well, again with the rant, God it just feels good to type.
Yesh, I have a cold. I am going to go hide in a manga now. Or good omens. Yesh, good omens. I also need ice cream. Lauren is at prom, I hope she is having fun, but I wish I could call her. Or annie er something. My phone is off limits tho, Maddy went over our joint minutes and I cant use the phone. School is almost out. Sorry for the semi angst, I hate it but oh well. People feel, and all art is useless.

I decided that 6 feet under wasnt so far after all.

2005-05-02T19:57:00.000-07:00

Today I watche a falling star, and I decided that everything was going to be alright. Why do things like that, (watchign a star fall) fill us with so much hope? First off the star was dying, and secound, well, its not that big of a deal. Hmmn. It has no real meaning, but it was a special moment anyway, even if I was just day dreaing about a star falling.
Not much to report, I have to go fast half a poem for CW. Wee hooo. ^^

Mr. and Mrs. One through Six....

2005-05-01T11:26:00.000-07:00

Well, Mr. Bojangles leaves on Tuesday, to where I don't know. This depresses the gell out of me because all the animals I used to love are care for are now going to be gone. I know that all of my cats went to good homes because I know the people they went to, but still... I don't know. I wish so badly that I could get a Cockatiel or something, but my aunt is just to alergic. Oh well. I am going to miss that bunny like mad hell. I still miss my birds, damn I miss them so much. It kills me, it really dose.
Anywhoo, A while ago while I was cleaning the bathroom I found a flyer for colorguard tryouts from maddys middle school. She will be at Horizon next year and has been talking a lot oon how cool the color guard team is. I am glad that she is taking intrest in something like that. Also, Lauren has introduced me to some of the color guard girls at her school, whom I found to be very nice, and it makes me very happy that maddy will be hanging out in that kind of crowed, as in, YES! She is not going to be a cheerleadrer! I so happy. But yea, I was worried that MAddy would not make any friends at her new school, but she really has. They all seem very nice to, I think it is a good change from her old friends, (with ecception to Brianna, whom I am going to steal one day..) She has been having soem drama at school, but drama only means that she has made friends and is close enought to them to be involved in their personal afares. Other than that MAddy sucks, I have been cleaning the house all day while she slept..I could have woken her I guess, but I didnt, I would rather poke her and make her clean the room by herself. (I win)
My aunt and uncle will be back from Tahoe on monday or tuesday I believe. I don't remember which. Maddy and I have been staying at the neighbors Tim and Karries for the time being. I love their kids Jack and Joey so much, and they love all my friends, and vice versa. I think that Adrienne is going to explode everytimg one of them hugs her (explode with joy that is..) And Annie and Lauren find them very adorable. So yea, things are going ok. I have to get my show hung up sometime this upcoming week, which means I really have to work. I need to make more buttons... *sigh* But yea, I am working on my Vash dress and It is going well so far. I am going to work more on it today as soon as I get some school work out of the way, I have top have a rough draft of Cathcer in the rye on monday, bleh. It should prove easy enought tho.
Rehersals are going ok, we went from having two casts to one, with a few two part roles, like Mrs. Zero, played my myself and Tess. Dan has the lone roll of Mr. Zero, and I know it si stressing hime out. We have a lot of the beging actors in this performance, and all of us intermediate and advanced students are ready to kill some of them. They sound like robots, no joke. God save the play! It will be an interesting turn out i believe, come see it if you want some laughs.
yea, Ok I am going to go work now, talk to you all later.

With features that cut like diamonds.

2005-04-26T22:10:00.000-07:00

Well Chris has come and gone. It was a very eventful weekend tho. Prom was fun. Everyone looked so nice. ^^ But yea, other than all the crzy shit that can happen in a four day weekend, it is quiet now. I kid not tho, it was a crazy weekend. We had a lot of fun hanging out. Adrienne stayed at my house basically the entier weekend. It was so cool. David and Chris hung out here a lot, and yea, I had Alex over too. Chrissy sliped on tile tho and hurt her back. I felt bad. But she was ok. We played a lot of DDR. XD Yea, seriously, it was a massive crazy weekend, and I dont feel like going into details. Heh, but yes, I am lazy, so Hope everyone is doing well. I am going to be collectin the forms for Expo this week along with reg money and flight money. You all better be ready! Wooooo Expo!

If you need a friend, You know in the end i'll always be here.

2005-04-20T20:07:00.000-07:00

I am so glad that tomorow is thursday. Yesh... We get fiday and monday off and Chris gets in tomorow. ^^ HUzzah. We are going to have a big fun filed weekend, I cant wait for it to start.

Yea, anywhooo. Not to much is going on. Just sittn round being a bum. Yea, this post is going to suck. ^^;;; Wooot! Party at my house friday and sunday! XD Also I give a happy best friend shout out to Lauren *hug* Your the best man. Really.

And I laughed at myself as the tears rolled down..

2005-04-17T17:27:00.000-07:00

"God will provide for this kitten"
"What makes you think so?"
Ursulas eyes snaped with anger. "Because I nkow it!" She said.
" Not a sparrow falls to the ground without His seeing it."
"But it falls, just the same. What good is seeing it fall?"

This was a good weekend. I had a lot of fun hanging out with Adrienne. ^^ We went down to Planet neo and she got me a Momigi plush and I got the 9th Eva manga. ^^ Huzzah! We also walked around late at night and just talked, its so nice to have friends that you just want to talk to. We also went to the thrift srore then to my house where we swam for 5 hours. Lauren came over and Adrienne pushed her in. It was cute to see lauren in her swim suit. ^^ We had a lot of fun and my aunt cooked a lot for us. We then went out and played DDR at fidle sticks with chrissy, jesca, david, the K guy form anizona, Annie.. yea a lot of people.Maddy was also there with her friends, and they were so cute! They had fun playing with us. Anywhooo. I dont know what elses to say, I cant help whats going on, and I pary and I beg and I wish that people didnt have to hurt, no because of me atleast. But we wont get into that. Other then that it was a lot of fun, I got paintings done on friday so I was able to do a lot this weekend. I havent seen whittney in a while and hope to see her this next weekend. Or i will push her in a pool. Also CHRIS is coming down for prom!! yayay! I am so happy, this will be so much fun. He comes in thursday and we have friday and monday off, so it will be an eventfull 4 day weeknd. With prom and what not. I think we are going to do some pickinc with him on sat or fri, but I cant remember what adrienne said exactly. Anywhooo. Yea, also Annie and I are going to finally truley start our manga, abd we finally decised which one to start, we decided onb blue moon cuz it is not compicated and stuff, its is by no means the best story but it is cute, more PG then the rest and yea.. So we need a team name, I would also like to get lauren and whit-o in on this, You ink well whittney! YOu cant hide from me!!!! And lauren is a great editor and team capitan, thing... heh captan lauren.. Yea. Ok well talk to you all later.

Eternal Sunshine

2005-04-14T17:17:00.000-07:00

Well, yea. Wooo, tomorow is friday and Mr. Albertson has gotten a new ordwe of pins in for me so I can now make my buttons! Huzzah! Yea, and weekend draws near, thank god. But I have a lot I have to do this weekend, paint and memorize scrpit, shouldnt take all weekend, but I want to get a lot of paintings done so that when my shirts (which got sent back...again) FINALLY come in, I will be ready for the show. ^^ Anywhoo, got prom tickets, huzzah. Fun fun. Yea... Not to much to say... Play is going.... ok. People are quickly losing intrest and stuff, ah well. Still have been aplying for jobs. ^^ .... Yea.... Thats it really, not to much, thanks again lauren for the button print outs!

Its a party!

2005-04-07T17:25:00.000-07:00

OK, doods, dont worry about my last post, I was PMS ing very bad, ^^;;; Dont worry, things are ok, I have been working a lot on the paintings and all that jazz. I don tknow what I am going to do for my birthday, but It will probably happen this weekend. Yea, I dont know what else to say, I will update later, I just wanted to say thanks for the concern, you guys are the best and yea, i am good. Party! Ima go buy porn!!!!!!! XD YESH!

djkifheu9ihi9hidhfh8hosp

2005-04-05T19:13:00.000-07:00

...I couldnt think up a whitty heading, so i put some gibberish.

Anywhooo. I had my 18th b-day yesterday. I didn't do to much, which truley is fine with me. My grandma took me out to Pei Wei on sunday, and then I got some gifts from the family. It was nice. I had a very nice cake as well. Lauren came by and threw starbursts at me. She really did to. It hurt. But I got to keep them. We ended up just driving around and I went to Michaels cuz I got some nice gift cards to the store. I don't know if I am going to have a party yet.... My aunt is going to take myself and some friends to dinner, but thats all I can think of. It was nice and uh, yea, wooo 18.

I dont really know whats wrong with me. maybe it is all the alone time I am getting in the house and teh strange new attitude maddy is getting. Not that it really worries me, she is a teen after all. We all do that shit. I am glad that my aunt and uncle are out of town, this will give them a chance to relax. And get away from, well, me. I guess. My uncle thinks that I am doing things wrong around the house to purposuly stir up trouble. hmm. That really pised me off. I close a cabinet to hard and I get yelled at and told that I am doing it to hurt everyone else. o.o Ok..... I dont know. My aunt and uncle are both very stressed and have not been afraid to vocalize that to me and tell me that, its, well, my fault. I honestly dont know what i am doing wrong. I am being open with them and letting them into my life and they dont like who I am, so when I try to keep to myself more and just stay out of the way they think I am depressd and need medication. They think I need meds. Thats a laugh. Just because someone isnt in the same mood 100% of the day dose not mean that they are bipolar. Yea, they treat maddy like some freckin saint tho. I dont know. I need to get a job. i am so un motivated. I havent felt like drawing or painting or anything. I should have the show ready and I dont, *the shirts have also yet to come in might I add* But I still should be working on it. I dont know, I sit and think, Iw ant this, I need to get it done, I have the house to myself and all the free time after school, but I just cant. Its a block in my brain er something. I dont know. I feel bad, now my grandma that is here is paying for my car gas, I should just use my birthday money and let her forget about it. I am truley a lazy good fer nothing. I need to work. But if I start working, I wont have time to do the play and to do my show. There is just no way, unless I dont want to sleep. Ever. Again. I am so frustrateddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd. I am going to stop. This is rediculous, i am rambling.
Anywhooo, things have been fun at school and everyone has been so nice and encouraging for the show and my art. I have been positive for so long, I think that reality is finally catching up. I should call my dad. I just cant help but cry, everything is gone, all my dear posesions are in a garage and have been for what? 4 months, longer? Nothing in this place is mine, I have no right o be here, I am a burden, no matter how much they want to help me, they cant get past that point. I think I am doing right, I think I act good and well behaved, I dont cus er do drugs or drink or do crazy shit, I call in when I am suposed to... I just dont get it, something is wrong with me. WHat is it? I spent the last hour online looking to see where I could get copics for teh cheepest. This is a pointless entry but I will post it anyway. I dont want people to worry about me, I am just tierd of being passed around and nobody really caring that much when I come and go.. Not even my parents. They dont make an effort. I call them....shit. I'm done. Sorry. Bleh.

Ninjas kill and leave no trail~~~

2005-04-03T09:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, It has been a long ass time, sorry.
Okee, things that have happend, things that have happend.... Well Anizona was a big sucsesss! Yayyyyy con! It was so much fun. ^^ I got to have a both where I sold prints of my art. Annie also sold somem of hers and Adrienne had one out too. ^^ I was sorry that I couldnt be at the both more cuz I had to work for Kyo at the Cosplay Station. It was fun working but the people where kinda dense.... (I say they are dense and then look at my spelling and gramer and all that shit...heh...o.o) Anywhoooo, yea, I made like 30 bucks at the stand. Annie even sold an original drawing. ^^ Yay! Also I got to hang up my paintings and some original art in the gallery. I won 1st place with one of my paintings and they took a picture of me with it and all that. I got the Sakura wars OVA set and a neat as hell Kino's licence plate that says 'hermes'. it rocks. Fun to be had by all. Oh! Whittney won 2nd place in the cosplay! IT ROCKED! We all had fun being asses at the contest, but it was fun. Yayyayay Whittney! You did a Keiichi proud, I take picture now. Yea... Chris didn't win anything, but everyone knew he should have. You should see the crap load of pictures of him online now! Its madddddness! But yes, we got to stay in Chris's hotel and it was nice. THANK YOU CHRIS! He will be coming down to go to our prom! ^^ He and Adrienne will be soooo kaute together! ^^ Adrienne and I also got in the hotel hot tub with all these funny gay or bi men with all our cloths on. It was realllllly fun. We all kept jumping in the pool and had chicken fights. The pool was a little heated so it was ok. Oh, there was also teh hotttest Gackt cosplayer evaaaaaaa! heheeh. We also went to the dance. We had glow sticks and I danced like I had neva danced before! Wooo! It was awsome. It cleard out kinda quick tho. Aw well. Ok, enough on that.
Show goes up mid this month, will keep all you posted, planet neo has my space ready. ^^ The joy.
My aunt and uncle are on vacation for the next 10 days in Flroda so my grandma Wally has come down to keep her eye on us and take care of Maddy and all that. She is cool tho so it is fun. I havent really had time to talk to her in a long time so I am really enjoying myself. She is doing a lot of sewing while I paint and she takes a lot of intrest in my art. She has only been here two days so far, so we shall see how it goes.
I have been driving to school all by myself the last week. I cant have passengers for a month and no cell phones either. Sorry everyone. But be patient. Lauren wont be the only driver! Wooo! I also love the Durango I drive. I love it good.
Um, yea, oh Expo, People I still need reg slips!!!! COME ON!!
Yea, well as you can guess they finished the tile and I have accses to the computer once more. yay. Oh, I might have to get rid of Mr.Bojangles as well. First my cats and now the bunny. My aunt is allergic to them. Son of a.... Yea, so if anyone can take him let me know so I can give him to someone just in case.
.... Yea, anywhooo, I go now. Baibai

I'm a teriffic liar

2005-03-12T17:14:00.000-08:00

And all the worlds a stage.

My aunt has an idea about me droping out of school. She came up witht his idea might I add. This way I could get out and get my GED and go to MCC and take my pre-req's and then through MCC go to Chicago or wherever. I would have a job at the same time as well. I dont know, I have been thinking about it for a while, well 3 days really, and acnt really make a desesion. I dont think that I will tho, before anyone gets on my case. Dont anyone start to worry either, its cool.
Well they start the reconstruction on the house tomorow, I think I am going to pitch a tent in Whitney's and Lauren's rooms and stay there for the next week. I am on spring break and I dont want to be woken up every moring at 6am to the sound of a jackhammer. Thankyouverymuch.
There is going to be abouther concert at neckbeards and Jessie is gonna take us again. If anyone wants to go it should be cool. The last show was awsme, and the people playing tomorow are Jessies favorits.
Annie stayed the night, and we ended up just sleeping forever, eating and watching a movie. It was a quiet day, but I can allready feel the bordem slipping in. I get bored very easy I will painfully admit. I can draw and read and paint to keep myself entertained, but I am always feeling bored without someone around. I cant help it, I need someone around to talk to. Ahh well. Woooo spring break! XD
Um, oh EXPO! Ok, well I have yet to get confermation from Lauren, but I am putting the price range at 150. That will include the 40 dollar registration, (we are doing the 10 people deal, you 10 should know who you are) and then 50 for the room and about 60 for the flight. Not a bad deal at all if I do say so myslef. I am going to start collecting the 40 dollars so that I can register everyone THIS WEEK. So please everyone be ready for that, I will call people who dont respond, I know that not to many people read my blog, but I have a debit card now and I will put that money in my bank then write a check for the totoal amount of all our registrations. You all need to go to the expo site and fill out the pre-reg form. (10 person or over deal one) (if there is two forms....I have no idea) Then I will send out all of our fprms and the check together, it is just better then having all that cash in the envalope, and I can void the check if anything should happen. Sound good? good. I will also be booking my flight, I will give evryone the info on the flight when I get your registration money. Then you can book yourself on the same flight with a credit card. Ok, that last part wasent need but oh well, I sound perfesional. .....Anywhoo. thats all I have right now, once I get confirmation from lauren, i will give you all a set price for the hotel, then I will give you a set price for the plane tickets. Get it, got it good.
Moving on, my aunt and uncle are going to buy a car tomorow, and then I will be taking my test on tuesday for my licence. Woooo. I hope that it dosent get pushed back again but I dont think that it will. Other than that not to much is going on. I have bought shirts in bulk and will be making my shirts to sell. They will each be around 20 dollars. The shirts are pricey alone and I have yet to get the transfer material and my own personal time and the fact that it is original art.... the shirts will be kind of price-y. Sorry.
Anywhooo, talk to you all later.

The bird is born of the egg, the egg is the world.

2005-03-06T20:32:00.001-08:00

Yea, it has been a while. I have been busy with paintings and school and other such things. The house here is being riped apart so that new flooring can go in. Everything in this house from the people to the food makes me feel like an alien. That was random. But yes, everything is slowly building. It is strange when you only feel like you are living when you are at school. Its not that I dont apreciate what my aunt is doing for me, but I am having a hard time adjusting. It is my fault. She is not used to having kids. Its not her fault. My other aunt form Kansas has been talking to me. She said that I sound sad and that she is worried for me. I know that she wants me to come and live with her. I dont think I would mind that so much, but I would miss NSA and all my loverly friends to death. Seriously. It is kind of a battle of the aunts right now. I find this kind of funny. Although I agree with my Aunt Liz more than my aunt Cathee. We just get along better and have the same perspective on things, we are true wills women. I dont know what is goign to happen yet. I know that Maddy couldnt be draged to Kansas, but I truley am concidering it. I feel like such a huge burden on my aunt and uncle here. They are having their house re modled and my aunts mother died recently, she has to put down her dog of 15 years and now she has to miss a lot of work to get me to school and back, I feel bad that maddy had to change schools, but there is just no way that I could do that. Errr. I dont know, my aunt and uncle have been fighting a lot. I feel like this is my fault. I want them to have their lifes back, and secretly I know that this is what they want. I would also feel like I have betrayed my Aunt Cathee if i left because she has allready done so much for me. Maddy came to live with them a long time ago, but had to leave, it almost killed my aunt. I dont want her to go through that again, she has been trying despretly for a long time to have kids, but with no succes. My aunt Liz has a kid, and has a much more flexible work schedual and makes even more money, I think that it is more stable to go there, because they are used to kids and are more stable, also I have grown up around my aunt liz and feel much more comfterble around her. I can be more open I guess, we are a lot alike. I dont know I dont know. I am terribly confused right now. I dont knwo what I want or what I can do. I want to get a job but it makes school life difficult during the week, but I also dont want to work 10 hour shifts on sunday and saturday. My art is selling very well, I wish they would let me just do that as my job. Once the shirts get up it will be even better. I like manual labor, it dosnet bother me a bit, but I just cant get home at 11 at night and be exspected to do my homework. School is my work for right now, I have good grades, I am holding a 3.8. Thats not perfect, but it is damn good for me. I set myself high goals, I made 100 dollars at the art show, and now my art is going up at a comic store. I am damn near finished with a painting that I started 3 days ago. I am working hard! Why dont I feel like it is enough? I feel like I have to be doing so much more to make myself worthy to live here. I dont feel like a family member. I am an outcast, something that was forced in, unwelcome. I am rambaling about nothing. I dont want anyone to worry. I will figure things out. Eventually. Thank you all for being there.

The bird is born of the egg, the egg is the world.

2005-03-06T20:32:00.000-08:00

God builds a church, the Devil builds a stepal...

2005-02-28T19:04:00.000-08:00

Anyhoooooooooo. I have not posted in a while. The art show ent very well, I sold two paintings, and a third if you count the guy that is suposed to come in next friday and get a copy of the yellow one I did of Saito from Bes gamer. I have had rehersals start. Yaaaaay. It is fun, I enjoy the play a lot. I have to do an anoying voice, that is giving me trouble, but I will get it down in the end. I have had a lot of pressure about college lately.... Yea. I went and saw The Lion king play with Lauren. It was awsome. We both realy enjoyed it. it was a lot of fun. Afterwards her parents treated us to Chilies, it was good food. We then went to Planet Neo so I could pre reg, but they were close... it was SUNDAY kaity! *kicks self* Lauren has been a bit under the wether so we also went to the phamacy and got her some stuff. *get well soon Lauren* Ohhhhhh oh oh oh, speaking of Lauren, YOU ARE A AMAZING WRITER! I WANT NEW CHAPTERS IN EVRYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, I am done. ^^; I am rambling about nothing now.... Hopefully we will get the new tile in soon and I can move into my own room. It is hectic living this way now. I tend to just indulge myself with my studies *heh, what studies, I go to NSA* and make it day by day. OH! We went to matsuri! ^^ It was fun, the food was good and it was a beautiful day besides the fact that i was drained from spending an almost 13 hour day at school for the art show.....what else to say.... oh, well my aunt took me to the camelback spa resort thing that she wants to take me to for my birthday, it is a beautiful place in scottsdlae, paradise valley area. It is built into the mountains and had nice scenery, beautiful lavishly decorated insides and smells nice and everyone is nice and the pool is beautiful, but I find that I have no intrest for these things. I think it is a marvelous place that I could sit in forever and read, but I am not one for spas I guess. I dont know tho cuz I have never had one. We will see, but she wants to rent this little apartment like hotel room that they have for me and my frinds. Should prove fun. My aunt and uncle are going to Vegas tomorow for his birthday. yea. ok I am done now. AIIEEEE! I had 130 fish and I still cant trade things on Gaia! XD

We know major Toms a junkie.

2005-02-16T16:38:00.000-08:00

Yessir we do. Anywhooot.Valintines day was very nice. I got roses and candy from my love and gave her Calalilies, ballons and choco. It was fun. I also got this huge candy apple that gives you cavities just by looking at it. Its like an orgasim in your mouth to say the least. ^^ I hope the rest of you had fun days. I was able o have Lauren and Annie over for a V-day dinner that my aunt made. The food was so good. This woman can cook. I think that they both enjoyed themselfs. It was fun. I stayed home today from school. I have what everyone else is getting. Bleh. My head, my body my throat; everything hurts. But I will be better soon. My aunt is threating to not let me go to the Ren fest tho if it is raining. Noooo! I have to go! But yea, I know I had other things to say..... hmmn. Well I am still working on the paintings, and they should be done soon. Not to much going on, I am glad for all this rain. Oh, I went to my Aunts for a dinner last night and won a dinner game called LCR, I got 28 dollars! Wooooot! XD Anyway, hope you all are doing well.

Fighting for a cause, losing for a reason, living with a purpose, I've forgotten who I am.

2005-02-13T13:59:00.000-08:00

Wow, tis published with only the title. Heh. Anyway, went to the Planet Neo thing. It was fun. I won the art contest, and now they are going to put up my paintings and shirts that I make in their store to sell. ^^ yayay. I do happy jig o joy. I really had a lot of fun. I had to move my stuff out of the house yesterday tho as well. Not as much fun. Thaks for your help Lauren. Uhh, yea. Valentines day is monday ^^ I am happy about this, should prove to be a fun day, maybe people should get thogether and we could see or rent a movie, something not valintines day ish, like The exorcist or something scary like that or nerdy. I don know. But that would be fun I think. Maddy seems to be doing ok at the new school. I wish she would reach out more tho. Ahhh well. Ohhhhhh! I got to drive Laurens car ysterday! Ok so it was only like a block to a Taco bell, but it was fun ^^ She called me a pansy driver and then I took off down the parking lot and nearly made her vomit. Chrissy had fun tho! I went fast and took crazy turns, but made the parking space perfectly....hehe poor motion sick lauren..XD It was great. But will never happen again. Oh chrissy and Lauren won Kareoke (dear god I cant spell) contesets as well, I forgot to mention that. But yea, hope you all have a good weekend, I am doing crafts with my Grandma today, I snuck away to get lunch, so yea... bai bai OH! annie I posted in your blog, I am really bad about reading yours, sorry...

If theres one thing to say about mankind, theres nothing kind about man.

2005-02-11T18:59:00.000-08:00

So, I can't decise what to get on my personalized license plate... A) Katnapt B) Utena C) Keiichi D) Funsize. I cant choose, and of corse suggestions are good. ^^ I am so glad that it is the weekend, and the rain makes it even better. Not much has happend sence the last post, so this wont be as long and full of grammer mistakes. I have started my Saito painting and it looks really good. I have been working almost non stop on it for the last day and a half. I wounder if Planet Neo would sell my art. Hmmnn, other places do that, I should ask. But speaking of art sales, the last friday of this month is the tempe art walk, and NSA is going to be a part of it, as in I am going to have my art up for sale in a real live art walk setting and I want support from you all, ecspecially if I have to part with one of my beloved paintings for a few hundred... ^__^ Glen thinks that mine are going to do really well, and a few students have begged me not to put the TV one up for sale! I was like, wow, people like my shit. Yaya! But yea, if you all get the chance, please come by, I will stop petting my ego now..... down ego down... ^^;; Yea, I have to go to my house tomorow and pick up all my personal belongings... My parents have to move, and they arent taking us with them... ... ..... .... yea, this is hard. i dont know where they are moving to, but I guess it shouldnt matter to me. Oh well.... yea. Mr.Bojangels has to be moved in with me. My bunny! I miss him so much. My grandma is in out of town, so I will be busy with her for a bit, next weekend is ren fest. yay. ^^ Well, yea, Im done.

You think a hero will save you? Well I wont stand here and wait...

2005-02-09T17:24:00.000-08:00

Thats my saying for life, nobody in this world takes any action any more. Whatever. Anyway, I have quit my job at Quiznos, long story..... The boss was a nut case. But I am allready getting employment offers. My aunts friend works at a nice bead store and I can get some work there until I find something better. But I like beads. ^^ I am to get my drivers licence soon. It is esposed ta rain tho, and I dont know if I will be able to take the test in the rain er not. But I look forward to the freedom, and we are looking into cars. ^^!!! Yaaaaaay! School is doing well, I got the part of Mrs. Zero in the play 'The adding mechine'. a larger part than I wanted, one of the two leading female rolls, but whatev. Brook wanted the part I got, and she got the part I wanted. ^^ We wanted to trade. But today we went through all the blocking on stage for the first part of the play, as in its my character ONLY ranting to her husband for 20 min...about NOTHING! I have to memorize what is the LONGEST monolouge I have ever seeeeeen! But it is fun. ^^;; Tess got the part as well, (we have a A and a B team) her and I get along very well. We are watching 'A street car named desier' in writing..... DAMN YOU TENESE WILLIAMS!!!!! Errr, bad memories of last years play, worst bonchitus of my life.... God i am ranting about nothing, no wounder I get those parts...^^;; Well, my grandma comes in soon. We are all bracing ourselfs for when that happens. o.o My aunt has us cleaning the house and stuff, I havent seen my parents in a good week and a half.... and then for only like 20 min. But my dad won this gold salesman thing for selling the most cars in a year. His back is still in a lot of pain tho... Mom looks good... Bunny looks good... Fai is bigger. ..... Yea. Maddy started her new school. Dosent like it. But its 8th grade, so I can understand, but she wont even try to make friends. She has brianna tho.. Ughh anyway, my aunt wants to make plans allready for EXPO!! ANIME EXPO!! (I figure that if people have allreadt gotten bored and are scrolling down, this will get their attention) So people need to let me know if they are going or not, we want to do the 10 person admission deal and we are going to rent NICE hotell rooms. Like what Lauren had. We will be driving again. And guess whos driving!!!!!! ^______^ heheheheheheh..... Yea. Oh, the Polly 6 concet is this saturday! Woooeeeee! I want to go so bad. But I dont know if I will be able to get away from my grandma... And Annie's Aunt will be here as well. I really hope that we can both go tho. And Planet neo is haveing a 'valintines' white day thing, and if you know a thing about white day in japan, its not like valintines day, and is in a diffrent month..... I wont spoil the fun. But I would like to go to that to on sat. Damn I need a car. I have been really tierd a lot tho lately. Hmmn, I hate stress. I do miss my parents and getting a job and school and the play and maddy and social life....bleh. I will not start. Anyway, if your not asleep... thanks. Talk to you later. ^^

Sleeping with the enemy...

2005-01-31T16:40:00.000-08:00

So, yea, I havent posted in a long time, but thats because a lot of shit has hit the fan. I am now living with my Aunt Cathee. It got to unbearable with my parents so I got Maddy and we left. We are not ging back to live with our parents any time soon. My mom is still out of a job, my dad has to go in for surgery soon, and they have no money and my dad is getting new meds for his back are of course not being taken wisley. It is to much for me. I cant handle it, so we moved out. Maddy has to change schools. She is upset but she will be ok. Other than that, school is good, and I got a job at Quiznos. It is nice and it feels good to be getting a salary. Lauren gave me the 3rd Hibane for a congrats gift. ^^ *dances* yaaaaa! Anyway, I dont want anyone to worry, I have been stressed, but its ok, just work and school and all this other shit. Meh. Maddy and I are sharing a smaller room now, but I will be getting my own room soon, so yea. Fun. My Aunts house is being remodled, so there is concreat floors and other such. But she is doing a lot of work on her house. She is also doing a lot for maddy and I. She is a very good person. It is nice to have a secure life, anywhoo, hope you are all doing well. Happy 19 whito!

Hello world what have we here?

2005-01-13T13:57:00.000-08:00

I am posting from annies computer because mine is being a piece o crap. Damnit, anywhoo finals week, YAAAA! Yea, anywho, a lot has been going on, but I am lazy and dont feel like posting, do i ever?? XD Yea...... I am being weird, Mallory i promise I wil e-mail you back, sorry, and will send more art, i have done some neat things lately, lauren, remind me to send you my new layout, and to post on your fic. Oh and mr. Bogangles is doing good.

Happy new years.

2005-01-02T20:20:00.000-08:00

Yea, Its new year time, yee haw. Anywhoo, I had a good time at Whitneys where we read fic bitches and I got a bunny. It is so cute. ^^ I am taking good care of it and it is a ver friendly little thing. But yea, hope this year is good, and I will hopefully have a new layout up soon, yay, yea, i dont ever post, my computer shoud DIE. it sucks XD

Its only what you want, my needs are...

2004-12-12T18:50:00.000-08:00

Yea, well comenting on the posts put on my last update... I did not read either of your responds, so there. ... yea. Anywhoot, tomorow starts the last week before break for X-mas, yaa. We have done a secret santa, and I still have two names to give out. Not much has been going on, I had a good friday with annie, we rented Oceans 11, and wanted to see 12 this weekend, but didnt get the chance, ahh well. On saturday, Lauren invited Whitney, Chibi, and myself to the botanical gardens, it was fun, and the apple cider was good. We had some fun conversations and Whit-o confermed that the painting of the naked man we saw at first fridays was indeed the past drawing teacher at NSA. Wooo... that was interesting, I love my school so damn much, you get to see pictures of your teachers with nothg but a cowboy hat on, and you dont get sued. Sunday I have been on my ass. My dad went 'shopping', as in he came home with 4 sixpacks of diet cola, klondike bars, ice cream of many flavors and 6 choco bars. I have eaten nothing but two bags of popcprn and half a cnady bar all day, oh and some salt and viniger chips, I am feeling very sick, but annie droped by and gave me cuscoos and a banana, thank you. I would have liked to go out and get something to eat, but no one in my house would budge, and I couldnt bother any of my friends, yea, well other than that, not to much going on. I have been emotional lately, I know why, but I havent been able to solve the prolum yet, but I will, some day. Holidays are here, yeaa, I like them, I hope you all have a good one, and get lots of fun shit for X-mas, spread joy, and get close to those you care about, its the only time of year you can and have a reasson to.

Love like yours will surely come my way, ah hey hey.

2004-12-06T19:58:00.000-08:00

I posted earlyer but have deleted it, yea, dont have the energy to post.

nononono

2004-11-13T20:18:00.000-08:00

I went to chatholic school for 12 years, then people look at me and say, "kaity, then how come your not a catholic?" and i say "well, i went to catholic school for 12 years." i fixed the key, but all i have to say is Bush is in office, and i am sick, god help us.

yesyesyes.

2004-11-13T20:02:00.000-08:00

I went to confession today and said, "you first" my space bar is not working so this will be all the post. sorry. whata bitch......grrr. stupid computer......

Kill me before i learn to much.

2004-11-08T19:39:00.000-08:00

I have a loud mouth, no truley i do, i speak loudly, but i also am the bigest blaber in the entier world, i am. which is strange, because i allways want everyones aproval, and want to be in their little circle, and work so hard to perfect this image of an understaning person with good advice, but I'm not, i should be thankful for what i have and keep going, why do i have this feeling of having to be in everyones bussiness? ugh, anywhoot, i have not been posting latley, and there is not much to say, things are as they allways are, anatomy sucks, painting is great, and old people get discounts on buses, but not me. I really dont like myself right now, and thats a stupid fucking emo thing to say, i hate emo, people think they have it so hard, bleh, i think i will post a poem so i dont start a stupid rant on how i hate my life and how my dog got hit by a car.... wait i dont own a dog....

A poet’s hangover.

I’m vomiting up words
Over a sterile toilet seat
White padding's the paper
For this journal entry

A pen made of mindsets
Speaks only in perspective
The tile floor covered in my body
Retching up poetry

A poet’s hangover
Head aching over words
I’ve mixed my sensations
With my emotions,

Throbbing over poetry.
My heads a heavy coaster ride
Words and bodies convulse
I’m regurgitating poetry

My minds a broken mess
Not as dirty as my sentence cover floor
But pretty damn near close,
I’ve got a poets hangover. by kaity o

I AM the modren man

2004-11-01T19:17:00.000-08:00

okeeee, well i have been really lazy with my posts lately, and i think i will continue to be! anywhooot, it was a fun halloween, and i got to trick or treat and carve punkins! yesh pumpkins! it was cool, and yea! we all had fun, props go to my grandma for making my fai coat, it rocked. we went to the mall and little kids were afraid of whittney! ^^ it was funny as hell, and she looked cool! we got candy! yea other than that, it was maddys birthday, the big 14! woo howoo. uhhhhh.... yea..... i should be reading Scarlet letter, but im not, heh, ^^;;;;; welll yea, i am done, baibai

dancin

2004-10-25T18:51:00.000-07:00

well the dancers wont be dancing for a while, sorry i havent posted in a while, busy, and yea that all i got to say^^;;;;;; sorry!

shit happens

2004-10-19T19:59:00.000-07:00

............shit has been happening.

thought is a loaded weapon

2004-10-14T21:31:00.000-07:00

...so cock the hammer and point that thing at me..... oh i wrote this title, it didnt come from a song, ohh i sho cool, not really.. ok anywhoot i should be posting my poems... WTF! my blog is all over teh place! OMG OMG! eeppp. ok i am done spazin, yea poems, i should type thos so i can post them. um i had an ego boost when i relized that i am a good artist a few days back, that was fun, and i have been looking into some colleges that i think i will be good in. ^^ yea for future plans! uh other than that, i had a loverly long weekend, laurens b day! WOOOOT it was fun, we all hung around and shit, it was cool, i didnt finish the painting for her, but i will, mehhhh, yea, umm got to hang out with whit-o, started gaia, am no longer a hobo, weeeee. okke i have a ton of people IMin me and wanting me to read stuff and be in plays, GHYAYA i cant post! okke i finish later, baibai

Gotta nock a little harder

2004-10-12T09:45:00.000-07:00

break down the door... yes i notice that i allways, well almost allways start my blog with a song, a line of it, a title, hmmn, i am a strange one, anywhooot, i have a 5 day weekend, thank you Bush and this is the only time you will hear me say that, >.>;;;; yea, um well 2marrow is Laurens 17 birthday, i still have no fruckin clue as to what the hell we are going to be doing, but ah well, its allways a party with me! ^^;; or maybe not... she allready knows what i am giving her, did i really give it away? i will never make a good ninja, i should go back to monk hood, thats where its at, yea, monks are hot... hmmmn chichiri... ok well i am still working on the painting, i feel like a complete loser for not having it done, but i have progressed a lot and can feel myself sliping into painting much easier than before, hmmn i havent shaded anyhting in a long time, oh i had a lovely day dream this morning when i woke up about drenyon, it was fun, i relized how much i truley have not been working on him, it may seem like i talk about him and ki and all my other characters to no end, but i noticed that i havent drawn drenyon sence kansas, i know, wow, he feels un loved, meh, i should be writing but i am not, but a few of my stories are making good progress, as in the sendai one and the anikin one, i like both of theses story ideas, but i need to start on them before they get old and i dont care anymore, i am a lazy ass.
maddy has a bunch of her friends over, but i like them all, oh i got onto gaia online, thanks to whittney and it is taking over my life, not really, but i want to put my art up there to sell to people, that will be fun i think, hmmn well i was perdy damn sick the last couple of days, and annie came over yesterday and took care of me, altho i really didnt need it, but thatgs why i love her, we went to some comic stores and shoped around, she got me two eva figures, rei and asuka, and they are the cutest things ever, but she wouldnt take my money when i tried to give it back, you will take it!!!!!!!!
hmmn i want to draw, ok i am ranting and rambling now, and i am kind of out of things to say, oh but alexs friend has my eve box set and trigun and my hibane renmei, SHOB, i want them back, but i hope that she was able to enjoy them.... okeee well i hope you all have a good day.

put another quarter in the box baby, cuz i love rock and roll.

2004-10-06T22:10:00.000-07:00

singing i love rock and roll, anywhottt, i am so glad that i have monday and tuesday off, and everyone is taking off wednesday, cuz they are giving us a half day ciz all the roads will be blocked off so no noe will shoot bush.. ^^;;; anywhoott, i hope you all are doing well, lauren b-day is soooooon! WOOOOOT we are gonna have sooo much fun! arent we! yes we are!!! this weekend will be nice and long, and there are chances of rain! and we are going to be decorating whit-o's house! this will also be fun! whitney won a art contest today on Gaia, i have never been on that site, but i am proud and happy for her. yesh, i finished kinos journey, GOOOOD SHOW! but i havent given it back to lauren yet, annie wants it so she can finish. yea alex's friend mallory has all my eva's and trigun and my 1st hibane, she has had them a bit, and i want them back, i miss them there is a big gap in my shelf. shob* but i hope she is having fun with them, i should start posting my poems.... hmmn, yea i should, but not today. anyways, painting goes well, and so dose everything else... OH KAT NAPT SHIRTS CAN NOW BE SOLD! bring me a shirt and i will print on it for a buck, but if i have to buy the shirt, then you pay more, i know you allllll want one, the print looks nice i think, it is neato, and i have made magazine clip ones to give to people, so ask me if ya want one. yea i should be writng.. but im not. yeshhh, i know i had more to say, but i cant think of it! you all have a good day! love =^^=

Angels sanctuary

2004-10-02T20:51:00.000-07:00

yesssssssssssss, well. now is the weekend, woooo hoo. annie and i went out to PF changs for our ananversary, it was fun^^ anywhott, people in my life, i feel the urges to run from them all, i dont know, go read laurens blog, it will make sense, she wrote it after we had a 2 hour talk, meh i just dont know, every thing sane in my life is leaving, and i am getting caugth up in my own personal demons, not everyone i know is bad, but they... they, i dont know, i hate friends bound by drama, its unfair, i hate, i dont hate, thats the problum, i like how i blog and am only ranting, anyway, hope you all have a good weekend, i am going to paint.

color me blood red

2004-09-29T19:31:00.000-07:00

okeeeeeeeeeeeee, well things are better, i guess, i did find out that my moms hip is never going to get better, even with therapy and stuff, its badly messed up, she is upset about this, i hope she dosent do anything, uhhh drastic..... yea. well anyhoot, i was painting and drawing, not to much is going on, nothing to exciting, school is fun, and goes predy well^^ uhhh yea... cant think!!!!!! AGHHHAHAHA ME BRAINS!! anyway, i dont know, i have been in strange moods lately, i dont know why, i think i am losing my mind, but other than that, all goes well. yea i should go study my monloluge, yea i do that now, see you all later!

Karma police, arrest me

2004-09-26T13:56:00.000-07:00

This is what i get i guess. i dont deserve it, but this is what i get. my mom has not been able to stay sober since last weekend, her legs are blue and swollwen along with her feet. her blood vessels are becoming thin, she has a heart murmmer and she smokes. i think she has a death wish. she has been taking way to many somas, and now that they are not having as big as an effect as they used to, she is drinking vodka and brandy and taking niquil...... jessus. its bad. she will die soon, i know it. her body cant take it, my dad wont do anything. i dont know what to do about it, she keeps getting more medication, and more and more, she has a bunch of doctors giving it to her now. meh i dont know i dont know. she cant remember anything, her voice has been gone for 5 days, she cant work, she is going to lose the job she just got, and we cant live off of my dads checks alone, i dont know what to do anymore, i feel like.... hidingm forever. and ever. sorry i am ranting, but i dont know what else to do. i really dont, i cant work, she keeps coming into my room bothering me and shit, shit shit shit shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck fuck damnit damnit damnit hell hell hell im so lost. ok i feel better now.

take it from me, i dont want it till its gone

2004-09-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

okeeee folks, well i have been in weird moods lately. why in hell i dont know. here is the week in short if you are interested......
we had a painting critique, and i didnt have my painting done, but glen is not upset, i need to have it done by next week he says, damn i dont know if i can do that, i work hard on paintings but slow, and also my painting is the most in depth on someone in our class is doing, and glen said he knows this and that i know that, and so he understands. but i still feel behind, but it looks good.... meh i ditched class for the first time in my life. it was anatomy of course, god i hate that class, anywhoot, i was going to class when chelsy pulled me into the fashion room to talk. i havent talked to her in a long time, so i wanted to say hi, after like 20 minutes i relized how late i was. i was going to go, but she told me to stay and talk to her, you can have 2 un excussed adds from a class until it will start to effect your grade, this from honor student Chelsey. so i stayed, i had a great time talking to her, annie came by and was like, why the hell are you here? but she was going on a field trip with scott, laura stoped by to, but anyway i found out from beth that my anantomy teacher 'dr. fuller' marked me as exscussed because she thought i was on the field trip with the advanced actors and techies, HAHAHAHAHAHH take that Dr! my parents thought it was funny but said i can only get lucky so many times, very true.
my grandma is working on my costume, and is looking into the hood of it. yeee hawww! i am sooo happy, i cant wait. Lauren is in texas, and i dont know if i will get to see her this weekend, but she needs a break anyway. i went to the football game to say hi to her on thursday, it was fun, but i love NSA so much more now, im proud of lauren for putting up with that, i wouldnt. Anywhoot, i want to work with whittney on my staff, it will ROCK! why? cuz whitney is gonna help, thats why. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. halloween is gonna be so fun this year.... yes! we are going to decorate whit-o's house. i am going to have soooo much fun.
In drawing we are doing block prints, and i am doing ki, of course, but i am going to make shirts, you all have to get one, it will be so kewl, i havent been drawing to much lately, i dont know why.
Chibi is still not talking to me, and i wish she would, meh i shouldnt talk about that here, but i dont know what to do, i cant stop being who i am.... im becoming lauren with this long post.... heheheh. i cant think of what else to write.... hmmn, well annies and mine's one year anaversary is on the 1st^^ i know! one year, i am happy, and she gets her licence on tuesday of next week. woooot.
oh lauren i read your revised verssion of APC..... lets talk.
I am going to a party today at adreenes, no wait Adreieen... no damn i cant spell, shoot me next time you se me ok? wait, thats today, shit.

why do i only post after wekends?

2004-09-20T19:16:00.000-07:00

im so boring, anywhoot, i was out of my house all weekend, yeeehaw. my mom is such a fuckin idiot, really, jesssssus. anyway, i got to hang out with whittney and meet her englush friend and sean. it was fun, they are bothe really neat-o. and seeing whit-o is allways a plus over the weekend, she is a uplifting person, so yea it helped. lauren was stuck driving me everywhere, but i think we had fun, well atleast i did. i ended up at annies one day as well, and spent a day at laurens with chrissy, i painted, she played games and lauren worked on math and stuff. we also went to goodwill and got cool sweaters. ohh ohh and i have decided that i am gonna decorate whits house for halloween! lauren took annie and i to a hallowen super store, it RAWKED! fun things! fuuuun thinnnngs! and i found laurens purple glasses. she tackled me. it was cool. ummm yea, martha s. is evil, but gave me good ideas for that. it will be fuuuuun. umm okee what else...... i cant think, uhhh school is gooooooood. i have all A's. i fuckin rock. yea. um not to much going on, just hope mom would stop taking the pills, or OD or something. meh. well thanks to all that got me out of the house over the weekend, i love you all. thank you thnak you thank you, i dont know what i would do.

the weekend

2004-09-12T19:49:00.000-07:00

hello all, i will rant about the week now.
First off there is a very large war vet on my couch, why he is there i dont know, well, on the other hand i do, why? cuz my mom is a dumbass. she likes to bring people home. he dosent wear a shirt, dose not shower, or wash his cloths, smokes like a fucking chimney, drinks like a sailor, and did i mention that he smokes so much he has to find other means of breathing? everything i own REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKSSSSSS of smoke, i kid you not, i opend my text book to work in annies, and the smell made me gag. also while at alexs i opend my stay the night bag, and was overwheld with the smell, i dont know how i will get rid of it, but it will be one hell of a task, thats all i have to say about that, he best leave soon. he has controll over my bathroom, it is truley revolting to be in my home right now, it smells like a smoke house... ergh i will stop ranting.
on a lighter note, alexs 18 b day was this weekend, we went and watched the stage show of rocky horror, it was AWSOME it is much better than the movie i think. it was so much fun, i really liked it, lauren did the warp, and every time she broke out in song i hit her with my program, but it was all good fun! she got a sighn for doing the warp, its kick ass. Alex got pulled on stage because it was her b day and was sang to! AHAHAHAH it was so great. we al had a blast. anywhooot, we had some fun conversations about things at alexs and it was fun to relax, hang out with friends, it was great. umm yea, i cant think of much else, the school was fun this week, easy, will kill my anatomy teacher. thats about it, love ya all

yea yeea yea

2004-08-30T19:32:00.000-07:00

oke this is a quick post, but yea, school goes good, im not dead and i contain no artificial flavors. i know im so kewl. anywhooooot, went to the costume contest on friday, funfunfun, not really but i got to see people. got sick ahh well. my new kittien fai is doing well, he is very cute, soo um yea....

today is a day in the life of.....?

2004-08-26T18:22:00.000-07:00

today i wrote a poem, also i hope you all like the layout, i made it in a hour, and i praise lauren for her mad HTML skills and putting it up for me! thankyouthankyouthankyou!
okeeee poem time, i havent written one in like 4 years, so yea.
it never really occured to me
just how fragile we had become
until she ran away from me
then i hated her, just some

i had a constant reasureance that
one day she would return
and take me from this broken
house tatterd, bruised and torn.

even when she was there,
the abuse allways hit,
she never would stand up for me,
she let me take the lick.

i could not deffend myself
for i was very small
she just stood there, speeschless
yes, yes, she just watched it all.

they never ever did hit me,
no the abuse was much worse,
she spoke those nasty, nasty words
untill her voice was horce.

keep coming now, keep on hitting me,
never will i faulter
never will i shed a tear,
my emotions never alter.

a night never fell
without her constant sobbing,
but i was there to comfort her
my body also throbing.

i hate you now,
you evil vile beign,
you left me here to rot!
you never once said anything

none of you ever helped
although blood it thicker than water,
so slit your wrists, im thirsty now,
yes you, my arrogent father.

the scares i have are a reminder
to what i have been through,
and to think that i surrvied it,
even without you.
w000000t the angst! wow, jezzuz, yea i also got copic markers from lauren, i still have to pay her, but i have been using them like mad hell! wooot, okee bai

i guess i should post.....

2004-08-22T02:15:00.000-07:00

look im posting, isnt it amazing, well this is the latest i have been up in a long time, and i mean long. im back from kansas and that yoiu should know, and if you dont, who are you? anyway, school is a week underway, yeeee haw the fun never stops here. yup. i have neato classes, and great teachers, am finally taking a creative writing class, i need it, it will make me work on shit, im so damn lazy. anyway, my anatomy teach is a tad crazy, but is neat, and i have a shit load of work to do this weekend, and it is sunday morning. woot. well i wont complain about that, it is no big deal. umm lesse my mom is still being stupid, not working, getting sloshed, and being pathetic. its to bad really. chibi had to bear whitness to some of this, well mostly me just telling my mother off after getting home and being attacked by her, she is a bitch. chibi was worried about me, but i am fine. fun never stops.... i never get a fucking break.
went a saw spiderman 2 with annie today, that was fun, it was a great movie, weeee. also spent the night at whittneys with lauren and annie. that was relaxing, we are all lazy and sat around, whitt and i made b-fast, and made lauren and annie clean^^ it was fun, she will be starting school on monday, my lil whit! nooooo! ASU! scary!
my new acting teacher is nice. i like him. damn i have alot of homework shit. i have been stressede lately with my home life, i was able to escape for a while with my friends tho thank gawd, i was snapping, i was scared, why im telling you all this i dont kow, its 2 :30 maybe thats why, huh. im also writing the screen play from hell. its called utena. i got to the part in the movie with saionji, but decided i didnt like how it was going and changed it. i have been writing it for the last hour, it is hard. but fun. here is some......
Scene opens: desks and students in uniform, sea foam green colors. Girls in skirts and tops, boy’s in trousers and shirts. Chalkboards move around on one side of the room. (Effect can be achieved on pulleys.) One student stands out, pink hair, short, black and white uniform, boys, different color than the rest.
(Shot should be form the back of the class looking in, Utena's back in beginning, Wakaba in profile, Utena turn to profile while talking.)
Utena: is staring out of school window, at what is unclear.
(A cute girl who has brown hair in a pigtail and one large bang that forms a curl on her forehead approach this student, she speaks straight to Utena.)
Wakaba: Tenjou Utena?
(Utena looks up from desk to Wakaba)
Wakaba: How do you like your first day of school? (Wakaba’s personality should be confidant, cute and perky. She is a happy student and is pleased to be escorting around this handsome young ‘man’)
Utena: Well I'm sure I can enjoy it with a cute girl like you around. (Stand)
Wakaba: (clings to Utena’s arm) I’ll show you around school!
Utena: What’s your name?
Wakaba: Shinohara Wakaba

ok that is all you get for now, there is more but that is the jist. yeeeee. well yea, not much else. drama, bitching blahblahbnlahbitch bitch bitchblllaaaaaaahhhhhhh. okee i think i am done.

to much to ramble about!

2004-08-03T17:04:00.000-07:00

okee i have done everything from star gazin, to firefly watchin, to moon gazin with a teleo scope thingy and riping dead cows apart for skulls to even start on my weekend, i also ddr'd with mallory and kicked asssh. anywhoot, i will tell all these overly stories to you all when i get home. it will be fun, and i almost puked with the cow thing, nasty but awsome thign to have happen to you!

Keiichi

When the dog bites

I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad

In class

Poem

My mother let me eat dirt as a child...

My mother let me eat dirt as a child...

One day I'll wish upon a star

Faster than Karma

It is done

Croching dancing to the nutcracker....

If a face is diffrent

And it worked

Prince with the sun crown..

I am Kaity's complete lack of surprise

April 4th 1984

And I hold you in my heart

Im Mr. Brightside

++Redo from start++

Sacrifice what you have

Would you marry me?

VOID

Nothing stays forever

Can you feel, a little love?

Death row, next in line speaking.

Maybe its because Im so close to enlightenment

In the end it is a circle.

Now can I tell you what I've done for you?

When someone thinks your dying...

Im who again?

Someone lead me to the crack!

Love is a battle field

And this is my little prayer...

How about I just beat the crap out of you?

Feel Good

I WILL BE HERE..

Life or something like it

I ate people

Theres nothing left to say

Whatever happend to the hero?

Super Freak

Hear me

Let me take this minute....

Somtimes two come together to make something beautiful...

Hooooodddeedoodoo

Nothing really matters.....

Just because I can.

Mr. White, the verdict please.....

And the new day was a great big fish.

I have no words.

*CAUTION* Seeds are VERY hot!!!!!

I was never orderd not to think.

ACK!

Like me.

House arrest.

Now tell me, what am I suposed to do about it?

No one sings like you anymore.

And i'm broken not.

I decided that 6 feet under wasnt so far after all.

Mr. and Mrs. One through Six....

With features that cut like diamonds.

If you need a friend, You know in the end i'll always be here.

And I laughed at myself as the tears rolled down..

Eternal Sunshine

Its a party!

djkifheu9ihi9hidhfh8hosp

Ninjas kill and leave no trail~~~

I'm a teriffic liar

The bird is born of the egg, the egg is the world.

The bird is born of the egg, the egg is the world.

God builds a church, the Devil builds a stepal...

We know major Toms a junkie.

Fighting for a cause, losing for a reason, living with a purpose, I've forgotten who I am.

If theres one thing to say about mankind, theres nothing kind about man.

You think a hero will save you? Well I wont stand here and wait...

Sleeping with the enemy...

Hello world what have we here?

Happy new years.

Its only what you want, my needs are...

Love like yours will surely come my way, ah hey hey.

CAUTION Seeds are VERY hot!!!!!